Susan's Thoughts and Musings

March Tour Dates - Virgin Tour of Brighton...

2012-02-01T19:57:00.000Z

MARCH tour dates are now available to view... please note that there is a NEW TOUR coming up in BRIGHTON....

First time for everything!! :o)

***MARCH....***

BELFAST CITY CENTRE - 5th, 6th & 7th March inclusive

INVERNESS CITY CENTRE - 12th, 13th & 14th March inclusive

CARLISLE CITY CENTRE - 19th, 20th & 21st March inclusive

BRIGHTON - 27th & 28th March inclusive ** First Tour **

The Demise of Foxy Loxy...

2012-02-01T19:48:00.003Z

It's bloody freezing in Belfast - well, outside at least - plenty to do to keep me 'hot' indoors *Winks*

I love all animals - even those that can tend to 'creep me out' at times, so when Foxy Loxy wanders into my garden at night, I often leave food out for him and his family. (My dog isn't aware that it's usually HIS food that I share with the red wonders...).

There are also a family of squirrels that dart about during the day, and they have become very tame too. It amazes me how they can run up the sides of the houses and scamper along the gutters.

On Saturday night, as usual, I left out some dog biscuits for Foxy Loxy as he was beginning to look a little on the thin side and he'd been yapping loudly during the early hours of the previous few mornings - hungry and looking for a mate no doubt.

So, imagine my distress at my neighbour knocking on my door on Sunday afternoon and suggesting I keep the dog in the house for a while as Foxy Loxy was laying badly 'injured' in my garden. In fact, it was thought that he may have been poisoned! My neighbour had called the SSPCA who were sending someone around as soon as possible.

The poor animal was trying to get up and stand, but he just couldn't make it. It only took the SSPCA about 15 minutes to arrive, during which time the Fox's breathing became shallower and less obvious. Chappie had no problems putting the dog-catcher noose thingy around Mr Fox's head, and he came back to say that he was on his last breath.

On saying something quietly to my neighbour, he went back to his van. My neighbour then advised me to go back into my house as Foxy was about to be humanely euthanised!! The SSPCA chappie suspected that the poor animal had been poisoned too...

I would have loved to have done that to whoever it was that poisoned the fox. It's just absolutely SICK!!!

Talking later to my local beat bobby, he informed me that poisoning, or even harming foxes in any way is actually a crime and if the person(s) who did it were found, then they would be prosecuted!

I never knew that foxes are protected - but sadly, it's a little too late for this particular Foxy Loxy - may he rest in peace!!!

It's not my fault I'm a sex addict:: Woman reveals she has slept with more than 1,000 men

2012-01-28T22:23:00.000Z

It's not my fault I'm a sex addict: Woman reveals she has slept with more than 1,000 men

She had 40 lovers by the age of 17
Once had sex with 7 men in 24 hours

A 42-year-old woman has notched up more than 1,000 lovers, and had already chalked up 40 by the time she was just 17.

Crystal Warren, a retail manager from Brighton puts her sex addiction down to witnessing the painful breakdown of her parents marriage when she was five-years-old.

'People don’t usually associate sex addiction with women,' Crystal told the Daily Mirror. 'We’re normally the ones accused of making excuses before the lights go off but with me it’s different. I think about sex all day.'

At the weekend she says she often leaves the house in the middle of the day to find men at pubs or coffee shops to pick up and take home.

On a bad day she has admitted to having sex with seven different men in 24 hours, sometimes a few at a time.

With such a high number in just one day she confessed it was difficult to fit it all in, and would sleep with a man in the morning, one at lunch and then as many as possible in the evening.

Miss Warren lost her virginity when she was 15 and believes she became a sex addict almost instantaneously.

The feeling of being wanted by her first lover drove her on for more and more sexual experiences and shortly after her first time she was having sex with new man every other month.

By the time she was 17 she had slept with 40 people.

She didn't think it was a particularly high number for one so young as she assumed all the girls in her Somerset village were doing the same.

'I didn’t know 40 men was more than most women sleep with in a lifetime. All I knew was that I felt good about myself when I was having sex.'

When she was in her 20s she put her overwhelming desire to have more and more conquests down to simply having a high sex drive.

Looking back she says, she should have realised she was in the grip of an addiction.

Miss Warren claims she has always practices safe sex. She isn’t able to have children but ensures she doesn’t contract any STIs.

In line with other addictions MIss Warren says if she doesn't get what she wants she feels moody and frustrated.

'I’d begin to feel hungry for sex,' she says. 'I’d go on the prowl for men on my lunch breaks. If I didn’t manage to have sex I’d be unproductive all afternoon. If I go without for a few days I start to feel desperately low, depressed and lack energy.'

She says people assume she is a slut but she insists the addiction means it is out of her control.

When she was 35 she noticed all her friends had begun to settle down, so she decided to begin dating younger men. This had the added benefit as they had the energy to keep up with her huge sexual demands.

She has even joined a specialist online dating website which helps her find men who can keep up with her high sex drive.

It was only when she hit 40, and her best friend turned her back on her did she finally confront her addiction.

'I know I’m a sex addict, but I can’t face getting professional help. Sex is the only thing that makes me feel good about myself. I guess when the men start saying no, I’ll stop having sex. I know some people must think I’m a terrible person, but believe me I’m not proud of myself.'

Oh dear, Crystal. You really DO need help! A Business plan would be a good start - can you imagine the amount of money that you could have earned by now if you had changed profession? *Rolls eyes*!!

A Guide To Working Ladies of London Book Under Investigation by Police...

2012-01-28T21:54:00.000Z

A Guide To Working Ladies Of London book under investigation by police after ‘five-star ratings guide’ sells 500 copies on Amazon

LINK HERE

Guide book lists contact details, specialisms, working hours and charging policies of almost 600 sex workers...

Deputy Mayor of London wants a police investigation into the legality of the book...

Author defends guide saying there are 'far too many people in this world telling us how to behave'

A book entitled 'A Guide to the Working Ladies of London' was at the centre of a police prostitution probe today after selling 500 copies on Amazon.

Police officers have been asked to investigate the new directory which ranks prostitutes on a five-star scale.

The book lists the contact details, specialisms, working hours and charging policies of almost 600 sex workers in the capital.

The £10 directory has sold more than 500 copies, according to author George McCoy, 63, a retired vinyl record seller and veteran reviewer of sexual services.

However, Kit Malthouse, deputy Mayor of London with responsibility for policing, said he would ask the Met to investigate the legality of the book.

He said: 'It strikes me that reviewing human beings in the same way as a restaurants is repellent.

'The thing people forget is that the world of organised prostitution is also a world of organised crime, drug dealing and abuse. Anything like this that tries to sanitise it is revolting.'

Mr McCoy, who has also written a book called Guide to the Agencies, Corrective Services and Parlours of London, said he took all the measures he could to ensure those listed work of their own free will, and had no moral qualms about his work.

He said: 'I think we have far too many people in this world telling us how to behave.

'Obviously we want to give a good example to the youth of the country, but you should be free to do what we want as long as it’s not going to harm anyone else.'

He said he’d sold copies to 'gentlemen, including viscounts and knights of the realm,' and police would be wasting their time if they investigated.

He said: 'There have been far more blatant cases that have been taken to court and people were found not guilty.

'I’m not saying it’s legal, but all sorts of things are illegal. It’s a question of whether it’s in the public interest to take me to court.'

A Met Police spokesman said they would consider investigating when they received information from Mr Malthouse.

A spokesman said: 'The Metropolitan Police Service’s human exploitation and organised crime command responds to, and builds up, intelligence pictures in areas of the sex industry where the most harm may be done.

'Our primary aim is to make London a hostile environment for traffickers and those who exploit people to operate in.'

Mr McCoy used personal experience, newspaper adverts and the internet in his attempt to research and rank every individual working lady in London.

He edits four specific guidebooks, McCoy’s British Massage Parlour Guide, McCoy’s British Escort Guide, McCoy’s Guide to Adult Services in London and McCoy’s Guide to Adult Services in East Anglia, the Midlands and Wales.

Based on his McCoy’s scoring system, Chessington’s workers scored highest with an average of 4.5 stars.

The working ladies of Surbiton received an average 3.4 stars, those in Kingston were rated at three stars, and New Malden’s working women were given 2.7 stars.

He described nearby Croydon as boasting 'a number of working ladies, although none are of any note'.

One former prostitute, listed in the guide despite starting a new career, said she fell into the role through friends, and had no regrets about a job she enjoyed.

She said: 'I suppose [the book] is handy if you are a guy who wants this kind of service. It’s good it has people’s real opinions rather than what the people who do it themselves say. It’s good to have an honest opinion.'

The Guide to the Agencies, Corrective Services and Parlours of London gives a similar star rating to dominatrixes and 'masseurs'.

HOW POLICE WILL FIND IT DIFFICULT TO BRING A CHARGE AGAINST AUTHOR

Despite the police being asked to look at A Guide to the Working Ladies of London, it is unlikely that any prosecution would be brought against its author.

The police may, however, be interested in offences connected with advertising on behalf of prostitutes. Such offences may include Conspiracy to Corrupt Public Morals or to Outrage Public Decency.

But as author George McCoy is merely providing a guidebook and not working with or making money from the women he promotes, the police may have difficulties in bringing a charge.

Even if the police passed a file to the Crown Prosecution Service, it would have to consider whether a prosecution would be in the public interest.

British courts also take Article 10 of the European Convention on Human Rights - Freedom of Speech - very seriously.

Free expression cannot be curtailed simply because a publication might offend. The question of whether a publication outrages public decency is one for a jury and the threshold for guilt is very high.

Mr McCoy has four other guidebooks out concerning adult services and has never been prosecuted.

That more than anything shows that a police charge against Mr McCoy is unlikely to happen.....

Oooh, I'm in one of George's books *Giggles*

But having met George myself, I feel that IF he ever came across any trafficked girls on his travels, that he would inform the relevant authorities. At least - I sincerely hope that he would!!!

And the Police should really think twice about hassling Service Providers (or is it called 'performing a WELFARE check nowadays? *sigh*) too - we're more likely to make the acquaintance of, or at least hear of any trafficked girls, but persist in giving us grief and like the sea shell - we'll just clam up!!

And to finish with.... I see that I'm being followed by the Sunday Sport!! I should think so too, as I spend a fortune on advertising with them... HI GUYS!!!! *WaVeS* x

Fur Coat, No Knickers?

2012-01-26T23:31:00.000Z

One of my 'fetishes' (as far as clothes are concerned), besides the obligatory shoes, are coats. I have more coats than a coat factory on a cold day, and the majority of these are fur - real and fake/faux fur.

I make no apologies for this, I just love the look and feel of them. They keep me warm, and they look good.

Unfortunately, I do tend to spend quite a bit of money on them (I hasten to add though, that the 2 real fur coats that I have were gifts to me).

But what really 'rips my knitting', is when people assume (wrongly? Lol) that I am a prostitute. You know - 'fur coat, no knickers' kind of thing. They think that just because I wear a long furry coat or jacket, that I really MUST be a woman of 'easy virtue'.

Now, I have been wearing coats like this for years - even before I entered my chosen profession. I've even heard my own mother make unkind comments along those lines when she has seen females (of ANY age) wearing such a garment.

But then I have had many woman & men approach me whilst I am out and about, to tell me how much they like my coat(s) or jacket(s) - praise indeed! It's just very odd how people's minds work though.

I have a 'hug in a mug' blue furry coat, (Remember the TV ad for cup-a-soup?). An ankle length silver-grey faux fur coat that feels like a luxurious teddy bear - awww. A '50s style ankle length black faux fur coat, amongst several others.

At the end of the day - I love to wear 'em, and I wish people would stop criticising me for choosing to do so!! Ok, so maybe I DON'T wear knickers underneath from time to time, but at least I'm covered up and WARM on a cold Autumn/Winter's day...Fnar! Fnar!!

But it all works in my favour anyway, as I receive many bookings from chaps asking for me to wear one of my fur coats as they find the feel incredibly sexy too :o)

It Has Been Brought To My Attention...

2012-01-26T00:09:00.001Z

Once again, I haven't blogged for a while - so shoot me! But Happy New Year (albeit belated)blah blah blah...

So, my first blog of 2012...

Well, as the title says - It has been brought to my attention that there is an escort out in this big wide world of ours, that seems to think that she is above and beyond reproach when it comes to the unnecessary comments that she makes about other ladies and certain websites.

What I read pissed me off big style.

FIRSTLY - She criticises the spelling etc of some of the girls who have made enquiries on a certain helpful website. Girls who wish some information on, and before making a decision as to whether they wish to enter into the industry or not.

What she seems to overlook is that some of these girls may be dyslexic, or may not have such a high standard of education as, perhaps, some others who may have been fortunate enough to have tasted. Just because their spelling, grammar, punctuation or capitalisation may not be 100%, does not make them stupid.

Perhaps this lady should actually re-read her own 'rant' and correct several of the above that she has made in her OWN blog before mocking others!!!! (We're none of us perfect really, are we!)

SECONDLY - She then goes on to slate other WG's who offer help to the original questions regarding girls considering entering the industry.

So what should they do? NOT respond? NOT offer their own experience of setting up and running a website - whether the person offering this advice runs their own website company or not? NOT let the girl know what to expect during an appointment - just leave her totally on her own? Out on a limb? No friends or contacts?

Ok, Lady - YOU prefer to distance yourself from all we more 'common' women, but at least we all KNOW that, IF there should be any problems, if we NEED help, all we have to do is pick up the phone or send an email and help will be there by return.

I may not get on with one or two ladies, but if they needed my help, I would give it them as much as I possibly could.

THIRDLY - So let's move on now to the 'mis'information that this lady claims that the helpful site dishes out.

As regards TAX - No-one is claiming to be a professional in this respect, they are merely giving information that anyone with an ounce of common sense could glean for themselves from Google or even the Tax Office itself.

I have no Legal or Financial training as far as Tax is concerned either, but I have an Accountant who does the work for me, and I pay the Tax Office what they demand. Any woman that approaches me and enquires about setting up in business, Tax is the first thing that I inform/advise her about.

There are far too many nasty, bitchy people in the world who would just like to see others fall flat on their face, and reporting them to the tax office is usually the first thing that said nasty, bitchy people would do.

HMRC = The largest collection of legal PIMPS in the world!!!

FOURTHLY - So, a drug-using (potential) client's Adultwork nickname was removed from the warnings section of the helpful site? So? Doesn't it occur to you that if he discovered that his AW nickname was there - all he has to do is to create a new profile with a different nickname?

There are other ways of discovering his identity, and yes - logging in and sending a private message to the original poster is usually the best way.

And how can you say that the helpful site is condoning the use of illegal drugs? As is written on your blog, you say that

the moderator says ...it is up to the girl whether or not she takes a client who uses drugs, and up to the girl as to whether or not she agres[sic] to take them with her client.

How is that CONDONING it? It IS up to the GIRL, no-one else!!!

It's a no-brainer. It's not rocket science!!

You've previously ranted about your mistrust of other WG's, and I don't blame you. You can never trust anyone 100%, but you're certainly not endearing yourself to ANY WG's at all - more like alienating yourself.

Just remember that, like us, you're only human and can get hurt too. None of us have to be 'best buddies', but we all (and I do mean ALL) need a shoulder or an ear from time to time. Someone who can pass on information via emails if it was deemed important enough - like bad client lists etc.

Ok, that's my little rant over with. I'm not posting this to upset anyone, or to make enemies - but we're all entitled to our opinions.

Tour Dates for Jan - Feb 2012 including my First Tour of Edinburgh

2012-01-25T22:59:00.003Z

Below are the tour dates for the rest of January up to, and including the end of February...

***JANUARY....***

BELFAST CITY CENTRE -
30th & 1st January / 1st February inclusive

***FEBRUARY....***

INVERNESS CITY CENTRE -
6th, 7th & 8th February inclusive

*First Tour* EDINBURGH CITY CENTRE -
20th, 21st & 22nd February

CARLISLE CITY CENTRE -
27th, 28th & 29th February inclusive

***MARCH....***

There may be a possible tour in LONDON in March, but this has still to be arranged and confirmed, so watch this space.

Tour Dates For October & November 2011

2011-10-02T16:27:00.000+01:00

I'm going to be pretty busy and (no doubt) bending over backwards for everyone during October and November.

Below (as well as on the right hand side of this page) are my upcoming tour dates...

OCTOBER....

INVERNESS CITY CENTRE - 3rd & 4th October inclusive

PERTH CITY CENTRE - 26th & 27th October inclusive

NOVEMBER....

BELFAST CITY CENTRE - 1st - 3rd November inclusive

INVERNESS CITY CENTRE - 7th & 8th November inclusive

CARLISLE CITY CENTRE - 14th - 16th November inclusive

DUNDEE CITY CENTRE - 21st - 23rd November inclusive

BELFAST CITY CENTRE - 28th - 30th November inclusive

Please try to give me plenty of notice if you'd like to meet up... ta muchly xxx

Happy Birthday To Me....

2011-09-28T00:20:00.000+01:00

~~~~~~ 39 again - And that's all I am going to say on the subject ~~~~~

................~*~*~*~* YIPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!*~*~*~*...............

Birthdays, Swims With Dolphins & Jet-Lag...

2011-09-27T23:22:00.001+01:00

I'm back - thoroughly tanned, happy, well rested and jet-lagged!!

Two weeks in average 34c of scorching sunshine (with just a couple of tropical storms), warm seas and hot sands has done me the world of good. Much of my holiday was spent lolling on the sun-lounger, topless with frequent swims in the Atlantic Ocean and drinking copious amounts of ice cold water.

I do have white bits though - I didn't think it wise to sunbathe totally naked, although I don't think the fellas would have minded too much, lol. (If you want to see the bits before they fade, you better hurry up.....)!!

The highlights of my break in the Dominican Republic were...

Swimming with dolphins - WOW!! AWESOME!! Although I know that they are mammals, I still kind of 'assumed' that, because they are in the sea, they would be cold and slippery. But that couldn't be further from the truth! Imagine a foam rubber stress ball... THAT is what a dolphin feels like.

When one of them came up to kiss me on the lips (the ONLY kiss that I had on my holiday, believe it or not), I was told to wrap my arms around and hug. It was all I could do not to squeeze the beautiful creature to within an inch of it's life!! I just didn't want to let go!

Then, floating flat on my tummy - arms and legs stretched out and knees locked - both of the dolphins pushed me up and out of the water with their noses on the soles of my feet! This was followed by them pulling me through the water at speed whilst I held tightly onto their dorsal fins... trust me to have my mouth open at the time though. The water was incredibly salty and it also stung my eyes (now you know why I don't do CIM or COF, hahahahaha...!!!)

But no matter, I was in dolphin heaven!

Something else that has now been ticked on my 'bucket list'.

A few days later, I went on an Outback Safari - no lions or tigers (although there were tigers, sharks, seals/sea lions and stingrays at the dolphin park), just an open top monster truck, rough, bumpy roads and mosquitoes! Having said that, there was more to it. I went to one of the villages where one could meet up with the families, visited a village school where I gave them the coloured pencils, rubbers, notebooks etc that I had purchased from Poundland before I went on holiday (the Dominicans are so very poor!), and then on to a crystal clear pool for a refreshing, and much needed swim.

When at the village, I really needed a pee (yes, a bladder the size of a shrunken peanut!) and I was told I could use one of the villagers loos.

It was a normal loo that was in the centre of a hut. I lifted the seat/lid and it flew onto the floor. There was no wall nearby to lean it against as we would at home, so I just sat on the porcelain.

Once finished, I wondered where all the white stuff on my hands had come from, and trying to rub it off only smudged it. Then I realised ... the actual loo had just been painted!!!

So, there I was, coming out of the hut wearing shorts and a huge white circle of paint across my legs! I had to stand atop the truck, leaning forwards and my butt pushed out, with a woman trying to remove the GLOSS paint with masses of baby wipes.

"I've never had to wipe an ass this size", she laughed!! (Quickly followed up with an explanation that she actually meant that she was only used to wiping her grandchildren's behinds!!!)

So, we left there and headed for a secluded beach where I rode the waves on a boogie-board. Fan-bloody-tastic! Well, until a huge wave caught me the wrong way, twisted me upside-down, the board forced out of my hands and ripping off a nail in the process! Jeezus H Christ, did it ever hurt! The salt water stung where my finger tip was bleeding, and I think I almost used up all the plasters that were on board the truck (sorry guys...)!

Funny thing was, just after that happened, there were about 6 vultures circling overhead... I felt a little uneasy for a while, but they soon went away.

As I mentioned earlier, the only kiss I got on holiday was from a dolphin, but that's not to say that no homosapien tried. Many offers to make 'chocolate babies' were given, but I refused. Let's face it - one reason I was over there was to get away from my normal day-to-day routine.

I wasn't surprised at the amount of young ladies who 'fell in love' with some of the locals, and who really believed that they were loved in return. I'm not saying that some of it wasn't, indeed, genuine, but for the most part - as the guys waved the girls off as they headed to the airport and home, they were already sprucing up to greet the next coachload of romance-seekers... *sigh*.

There was one member of the Animation Team who had everyone talking.... mainly for the fact that he was the spitting image of Will Smith - or maybe it really was Will Smith? I've attached a pic of him - you decide for yourselves!!

Anyway, rather than ramble on and on, let me just finish by saying that I took a bottle of IrnBru with me, and toasted my darling departed friend with it and a large vodka on, what would have been, her birthday (21st September).

(By the way - did I happen to mention it's MY BIRTHDAY tomorrow? (28th September...))

So, I had a great time and would go back in a heartbeat...

Love lots
Susan xxx

Swimming With Dolphins in The Dominican Republic...

2011-08-29T23:56:00.003+01:00

Due to the sudden and unexpected death of my best friend, I have come to finally realise that life really is too short to spend worrying about bills etc, so I've booked myself a long needed holiday.

Despite the fact that I am terrified of flying, I am off to the Dominican Republic for 14 glorious nights.... and I'm definitely going to swim with the dolphins!!

It's going to be odd being there on my own, but I am a friendly lass, so hopefully I shall be able to make lots of new friends whilst there - let's just hope that the hurricanes don't return during my stay *gulp*...

Okay, so I can't 'really' afford it as such, but as I said - life's too short to worry about 'this, that and t'other', and everything else can wait.

It would have been my friend's birthday on 21st September (exactly a week before mine), so I shall be on the white sandy beach at sunset and drink a toast to her! Having said that - I really must remember to buy a bottle of Irn Bru as I go through the departure lounge, as I doubt they'll sell it in DR, and that, with Vodka, was her favourite tipple.

I had my various holiday 'jags' today ... Hep A, Typhoid and Tetanus as well as collecting the anti-malaria tablets. I have mosquito repellent (3 tubes of it, actually)! Well, being a redhead, I tend to get eaten alive (apparently, redheads have sweet blood - what can I say)?

I am now awaiting delivery of 2 x liquid plug-in mosquito repellents, jungle formula mosquito spray and have loads of lavender and citronella sprays - and let's not forget my factor 30 sunscreen and Aloe Vera after sun.

Hmmm, have I remembered everything? Imodium, Alka Seltzer, batteries (for the CAMERA!!!)... Oh yes!! Diazepam or something to keep me calm on the 9.5 hour flight, otherwise the person sitting next to me will end up with my nails embedded in their arm - or anywhere else I might suddenly feel the need to grab hold of.

Oooh... Mile High Club, anyone ;o)

Bloody hell! I've only got a 25k luggage allowance!!

Love lots

Susan xxx

Farewells and Celebrants...

2011-08-18T21:29:00.003+01:00

As mentioned yesterday, it was my friend's funeral today.

I had been praying for today to be sunny all week, and boy was it hot, although, typically, it did begin to drizzle a bit once the service was over.

The family had opted for a Humanist service and it was beautiful! The Celebrant had met up with family and close friends last week, and we told her all about the happy times in my friend's life - how we all best remembered her. It was a strange combination of tears and laughter as we listened to her speaking, and we could all hear my friend having a damned good chuckle too (spiritually, of course...).

Then off to the 'wake'. She would have loved it as she was always at the very hub of everyone's social calendar, a party animal who would have been delighted to have seen so many people there. With permission from her Son and Daughter, I called on everyone to raise their glasses to her memory - we drank vodka and Irn Bru (her favourite tipple) - some raised their glasses a few too many times though *hic*. Not me though, I'm a good girl - HONESTLY!!

So, farewell my beautiful friend. Until we meet again xxxxx

"Man jailed for 14 months after giving girlfriend herpes...." And My Reviews..

2011-08-17T21:33:00.002+01:00

Well, let this be a lesson to everyone -

(Online story here...)

David Golding, 28, was sentenced to the jail term at Northampton Crown Court last week after pleading guilty to inflicting grievous bodily harm. Mr Golding, a Highways Authority traffic officer, contracted the sexually transmitted disease from a former partner.

The 24-year-old victim was diagnosed with herpes two months after starting a relationship with Mr Golding in July 2009. Despite this Golding did not admit to having the condition, only eventually disclosing his culpability shortly before the couple split months after.

The victim complained to police about contracting the disease after Golding was arrested on an allegation of assaulting her. Golding had initially claimed to have been given the all-clear from a screening clinic.

Sentencing Golding, Judge Michael Fowler said his initial refusal to admit passing on herpes “placed uncertainty in her life and caused suspicions to be cast onto others”.

Judge Fowler added, “The injury you (Golding) caused her by this infection is at least or more serious than an injury leaving a scar because it carries continued recurrence, extreme discomfort and consequences for relationships she will have in the future”.

The incurable disease forms lesions on the genitals which can cause painful itching and burning.

I am so glad the Judge handed down the sentence that he has as there are far too many people out there (women as well as men) who think that this kind of behaviour is 'funny - as in humorous!

On another note...

I haven't blogged for a while, for the most part there has been no excuse, but more recently - my best friend of over 22 years suddenly and unexpectedly passed away. Her funeral is tomorrow and it's going to be a very difficult time.

Her passing has made me re-think the way I live my life, and suddenly bills and other things don't seem to be as urgent as before. With that in mind, I am planning to take myself off to somewhere sunny and restful in September. My friend and I celebrated our birthdays together as we were only a week apart, so I shall toast her whilst I am away. (Assuming I shall be away at the end of the month, that is!)

I have no idea where to go yet, so let's just see where the winds take me...

Next week, I have been called up for something that I cannot get out of, so I have had to cancel my first ever tour of Dundee. That's a real pity as I was looking forward to it, but I really must get this other thing out of the way so there shall be no further torment from them in the future.

I have decided to post links to all my future Field Reports on here... why I didn't do it before, I have no idea, but I have decided to do so, so that you can get a far better idea of what a nice Lady I really am, lol. Starting off with the one below, which I received today.... and what a belter it is too!!

LATEST FIELD REPORT - 17th August 2011

Of course, if you want to see all 35 FR's, just go to the top of that page and next to my photo you shall see ... Other Reports on Susan Glasgow:

And for my GENUINE Feedback - CLICK HERE

Love and stuff, and live each day as if it were your last...

Susan xxx

"Nightclub is blasted over brothel night..."

2011-07-21T20:44:00.000+01:00

So the story goes in The Edinburgh Evening News...

ONE of the city's biggest nightclubs has come under fire after an event advertised on Facebook said it would offer free entry to the "sluttiest-dressed bird" and any girl who wrote "I'm a prostitute" on its social networking page.

Hundreds of student campaigners, escorts and club-goers blasted the club night, called Brothel Broke, which was due to be held at City Nightclub, in Market Street, this Friday.

Horrified Facebook users said it was "misogynistic", "irresponsible", "offensive", a "sick" stereotype and a misrepresentation of the sex industry.

Here's the link to the complete article...

Take a peek - it's quite interesting, as are many of the comments.... what do YOU think? What's YOUR opinion on what the nightclub was intending to do?

Other than that - I have just returned from an amazing tour of Belfast!! I want to just say a HUUUGE "Thank you" again to all my visitors and a massive apology to those whom I couldn't meet with. For my trip over the sea, you really DO need to book at least two weeks in advance, so here's a 'heads-up' for you... I shall be back on Monday 15th to Wednesday 17th inclusive.

You have been forewarned, lol...

Now, as I said, I had a brilliant time in Belfast and last night, just before I wanted to fall exhausted into my bed, I went to brush my teeth (as you do...)

There was a problem!!

I couldn't find my toothpaste anywhere!

I had already packed my case ready to leave at 6am, so I had to go through it again... nope, not there.

Not anywhere in any nook or cranny in the bathroom, nor in the bedroom. Not in any of my bags even.

I had to wake Laura up to borrow her toothpaste.

Where the bloody hell had it gone, though?

There's only one place it could be..... IN ONE OF MY VISITOR'S POCKETS/DOWN THEIR PANTS, or somesuch!!

I think I know who the kleptomaniac is though... he washed his hands just before he left, but kept trying to close the bathroom door!! Where did you secrete it? Huh? Up your arse?

ROFL!!!

Wouldn't a pair of my panties have been a more enjoyable 'steal'?

*Sigh*....

Well, they do say "Nowt so queer as folk...."!

I am off to Glorious Goodwood again next week, followed by an evening with Status Quo and then the night after that - Placido Domingo!

Who says I ain't cultured, innit!!

Love to all
Susan xxx

... On Being Mature & Faked Orgasms!

2011-07-17T00:45:00.000+01:00

When I first started out as an Escort, it did cross my mind that guys would probably only want to see the younger Ladies. To get a kind of ego boost, that they could get a gorgeous 'younger model' with long hair, long legs and a much longer time during penetration..

BUT.... it seems to all be changing now.

I may be 'older', but I am, (most certainly) wiser. I know what men want *wink*

So many Gents are coming to me now actually complaining that - although they DO like to see a younger woman from time to time, it is actually becoming less frequent - but more frequent with the more mature woman - such as moi!!

Why?

Because we do take our time. We don't take the money, don't try and get the guy to cum as quickly as possible and then rush him out of the door!! (I have been told about 5 times recently, that Gents have booked a younger model for an hour, and found themselves back out on the street about 25 - 35 minutes later!!)

It's just not on, ladies!! (Ok, before you email me in disgust, I am OBVIOUSLY not talking about ALL younger models...)

I didn't have my first, genuine, real orgasm until I was 43!!

I'd previously been married but 'faked' it because I thought it was the thing to do. I thought all he wanted was to get a 'kick' out of making me cum...

But all that changed when I had my first one! (After we divorced, I might add, lol.) I vowed that I would never fake one again. And I haven't. I don't always have one - but that, in no way, means that I haven't enjoyed myself!!

Guys - you have to learn that if a woman (genuinely) doesn't climax, it doesn't make you a failure!! Why put so much pressure on yourselves and the lady in question by waiting for her to scream and yell in ecstasy?

If you keep saying.. "Baby, cum for me..." etc, well - naturally, she WILL fake it and massage your ego at the same time!!

My Gentlemen callers are getting younger and younger now... the most recent being only 19yrs!! (I won't mention my neighbour's 16 year old son who tried to hit on me the other week... and his trying to convince me he was about to turn 18!!!) They want the genuine experience of an older woman... we don't all have saggy boobs and varicose veins once we hit the big 40, you know, lol.

Lovemaking is to be enjoyed - no-one should be under any kind of pressure, and good quality time should be had by all....

I'll see my lovely regulars in Belfast next week (details on my profile...)

Love you lots, everyone

Susan xxx

P.S. Of course - no monies exchange hands for orgasms etc. We are paid for our time! But hey - if we 'click', then who knows what might happen..... lol!!

Am I Here.....? Hmmm, Maybe.....!!

2011-07-05T19:35:00.000+01:00

I know I haven't been around for the past few weeks, but I had decided to take some time off - a) due to my health b) to try to get some 'me' time.

My health was going a bit downhill recently, due to working too much, and problems closer to home. Constant touring and trying to be all things to all people almost finally took it's toll.

I am still not quite 100%, but I am getting there.

Despite the fact that I took the time off, I still haven't, yet, had my 'me' time.

Unbelievably, even though my phone has been ringing, guys still don't seem to be able to understand that when I told them that I was ill, they STILL suggested (quite strongly at times) that all I needed to do was "lie back and they'd do all the work"!!

Well, excuuuuuse ME! But I am not that type of lass! I like to provide a good quality GFE. If you just want a 'shag' or a 'fuck' - then go and spend less money on someone who can provide that service. Or better still, save your money and just have a good, old fashioned wank!

Pfft!

But, I started back again this week, and I want to thank the rest of the Gents that called me for their patience and understanding.

I have just uploaded the first batch of a lot of photos into my private gallery on ADULTWORK - a tad too risque for the free photos, lol. At least you'll now be able to remember what I look like, ha ha!!

Just a quick reminder too that I shall be in PERTH for my virgin tour there next week. Details can be found on my WEBSITE or on ADULTWORK.

Please don't submit a booking request without having contacted me by email or phone first, and obtained a reply with a mutually agreed date and time... thank you very much [:)]

At this time, I am not working every day as I usually am. I still need to ease myself back in slowly.

Have a great week,

Love lots
Susan xxx

The Epsom Derby Pour Moi....

2011-06-05T22:23:00.002+01:00

I am just back from a great weekend at the Epsom Derby.

Well, I say weekend, I was actually only there on Derby Day itself (Saturday), having flown down on Friday.

I couldn't have wished for better weather as well as having such good luck on the horses! Yes - despite people at the races telling me I was being unpatriotic by not putting a bet to win on the Queen's horse (Carlton House), I did put an each way bet on. Just as well really as it came in 3rd.

However, I did put a bet on Pour Moi (and had been telling other's to do so too). But - men being men, they decided not to listen to me and ended up backing the 'wrong' nag.

What's the saying? Never look a gift horse in the mouth (every pun intended there, lol)...

Anyway, I took some great pics of the Queen's hat (top of)

and the tops of Prince Edward's and Prince Phillip's heads too as I was in the box ABOVE the Royal one. (No, that's not Prince Phillip in the pic, lol ... It's Edward and Her Majesty, can't remember who the other gentleman is...) Sadly, I couldn't get a snap of the other Royals as other Lady Racegoer's kept nudging me out of the way... bless 'em.... grrrr!

I had so many wonderful comments about my hat and outfit overall, and coming from the women - I was really pleased!! It made all the effort worthwhile. Sadly, I didn't get snapped by the media as there weren't many there at the time I went in.

Still awaiting delivery of my Ascot hat, which is being especially made. Maybe, just maybe I'll get 'papped' before going in. There's more chance there as it's on Ladies Day and I shall be in the Royal Enclosure again...

Work hard, play hard - you can't beat it and I deserve it!! [;)]

As I was about to leave the hotel (which was about a 3 minute walk from the race course), a woman and her partner were walking out before me. Well, you guy's would probably love what she was wearing - but OMG!! As broad-minded and adventurous as I am, I would have kept it for 'appointments only'!!

The hem of her little black dress sat, literally, just above her stockings tops!! Okay, so she had a cracking figure - but THAT short? Really?

Perhaps she was hoping to get a 'ride' of her own - with her fella watching. I had visions of her man ending up in a fight with other guy's in an attempt to 'defend her honour'! Mind you, I sincerely doubt she had any, going out wearing that dress!

Anyway, no sooner was I back through the door today when I received emails regarding my 'normal' line of work, so I've been sat at my PC all evening. And as soon as I finish that, then I have to pack for my Inverness tour tomorrow (Monday)... details in the TOURS section of my website as well as on here!!

I have RSI in my right wrist (not a good thing with a tour over the next few days) and it's quite painful.

Love lots

Susan xxx

It's 'Flaming' June and Shuh Rule...

2011-06-01T00:29:00.002+01:00

At last, June has arrived, but is it going to be traditionally 'flaming'? I hope we get as good weather as we did back in April, although a little bit warmer, and far less windier than May would be an absolute plus!

I am off to the Derby at Epsom this weekend - lucky me!!

The dress I ordered STILL hasn't arrived, so I have had to buy another dress to go with the hat. But what about the shoes?

Well, I needed a pair to go with the hat as well as the dress, but the hat is a copper colour and there just ain't that many shoes in such a colour, or that even have that colour in them! Arrgh! What to do, I asked myself.

So last night, I spent ages online looking on the websites of various high street shops until I found something along the lines of, what I hoped would be, the right pair.

But damn!! Things always look different when held in the hand to the way they do in photos (Oo-err, Mrs....)

Eventually, I tried SHUH shoe shop. The lad in there was very helpful (I took my hat with me so I could get a good colour match) and he was very patient as he brought me pair after pair.

Then those wonderful words rolled off his tongue...

"SHUH have a policy that, as long as you don't wear the shoes outside, then you can bring them back WITHIN A YEAR and we shall exchange them or give you your money back"!!

YAY! That meant that I could now take them home and try them on with the whole outfit, and if they didn't look right I could get my money back.

God! You've gotta love SHUH!

So I rushed home, tried them all on and......

It all looks absolutely fan-bloody-tastic!!

Now, if I don't get papped at the Derby, I shall be so upset! We mature women still have it going on, lol...

Love lots

Susan xxx

Do You See What I See.....???

2011-05-31T18:44:00.001+01:00

I've recently had a kind of 'email battle' with a chap who had made an enquiry through AW.

He said that he would like to make a booking with me, but he wanted to see a photo of my face first. All my profile pics are blurred.

Okay, says I, although I can assure you that

I don't look like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

Please feel free to take a look in my private galleries - there are hundreds of photos in there.

Oh no! Says he, I'm not wasting my money on private pics. Can't you just email me one?

(Great, I thought. He wants to book me for an hour, but is too tight to spend £2 (or less) to look at all the pics.)

I told him that I wasn't in the habit of emailing a photo to anyone, and that if he were to check out my feedback and reviews, then he should be reassured that I am definitely not some spotty faced minger!

Look, says he, I don't want to have my time wasted by making a booking, travelling to see you and you open the door and find that you're nothing like your photos. Are you gonna send me a pic or not???

UH-OH!! Bad move on his part!!!

(BTW - he does actually have several positive feedbacks on his profile!!)

So I had to have the final say and told him that he has the means and the opportunity to be able to view my pics, and once he has done so then he can make a very informed decision as to whether he still would like to go ahead and make the booking.

We ladies, on the other hand, don't have that luxury. We accept bookings on the basis of the phone call or the content of emails. We can build up a picture of the person (to a point), but sometimes, when we open the door, what we see is NOT what we were expecting!

Sometimes it can be Mr. Wonderful, an absolute God of a guy. Sometimes we can open the door and smell the person before we see them. There will stand a 25 stone guy (no offence) who has last weeks dinner on his tie and grease stains on his suit jacket. His greasy hair in a comb-over (think The Baldy Man) and so much dandruff on the shoulders that you have to stick your head out of the door a little further because you think he's just arrived in a snow-storm!!

His shoes are dirty, his nails (as you might eventually find out) are filthy. His 'tombstone' teeth are stained - well, those that are still there, and the halitosis is enough to strip paint!!

There are times when we Ladies have to say "I'm sorry, but something has come up in the last few minutes", and turn them away.

Some things are just NOT worth the money!!

He had the CHEEK to email me back to say that he thought Escorts were ALL about money, and why should I refuse to see anyone??

Needless to say, I didn't reply and blocked him.

So guys, please take note... often profile pictures are blurred for a very good reason. Ladies have family, friends or work colleagues who don't know about the Ladies 'occupation'. Just because they're blurred doesn't mean that they have something physical to hide.

And more than that, when you go to an appointment, bear in mind that (usually) the lady has taken time to shower and dress in the outfit that you may have requested. She's done her make-up, manicured her nails, perfumed herself delicately and made sure that she is the 'ideal' date for you. So why not make sure that YOU are 'squeaky clean' down below, that you have used deodorant and cleaned underneath your fingernails too. Just think about where they are about to go.

Love lots

Susan xxx

Men Are 'Uman Too, You Know...

2011-05-29T22:37:00.002+01:00

I can't help but get a bit peeved at some of the blogs I see on various other websites - adult related, naturally!

Girls putting up blogs on AW, for example, complaining that they aren't getting the visitors that they think that they so rightly (or wrongly) deserve. DEMANDING that guys pick up their phones and give the girls a call because the girl has seen 'a new car' that she wants, or that she wants to go on a holiday to the Caribbean!

Then the girls go on and on accusing chaps of being 'skinflints' and 'mean with their money' for not booking them! Well sorry, but with attitudes like that is it surprising? Do these girls not realise that WE are a treat for the Gents? It is not OUR place to make the demands...

Yes, men have their wants and needs, they're only human too, but to place such demands on them in this economic climate is really pushing the boundaries, don't you think!

I kid you not - I've read them. I won't put a link up here to them though - if they want to build up a client base they can do their own advertising!

I feel though, that with such higher unemployment now, that there are more and more girls turning to the Sex Industry and placing themselves in extremely precarious situations. And I've also noticed an increase in girls offering BB too!

Some people seem to be willing to do anything to get money, and lowering their standards in the meantime.

On the way back from Belfast on Saturday morning, Laura and I discovered that the ferry was FULL of Japanese tourists. They all seemed to be wearing the same kinds of hat and, as I guess tradition there states that they should, they all had cameras which were clicking away at virtually anything and everything.... pics of the walkway to the ferry, pics of the entrance to the ferry, pics of the bar on the ferry, pics of the breakfast, pics of the hen party dressed in mini sailors outfits...

Ah, but then again - the Japanese are really into Hentai and Cosplay, so the guys would have
been sat there with little erections in their pants - using it as an excuse for a tripod I guess!

So, Laura says to me "You'd think that they'd have better things to do with their time"!

And I said, without engaging my brain, "Yes, like clearing up after the tsunami's...."!!!!

OUCH!!

She tried to reprimand me, telling me that I was so UN-'PC', but she kept choking on her sausage as she laughed her little bonce off, lol...

My apologies for what I said - but it just slipped out!!

I've been working at my PC all day (no, not my Political Correctness - I don't have any, remember?) and I now have eyestrain and a headache - time for bed, methinks. A busy day tomorrow including (if the wind holds off) erecting the enclosure on the 10ft trampoline I have bought.

I can't wait to have a good bounce on it... yay!!!

Love lots

Susan xxx

Belfast Is A Blast in More Than One Way!

2011-05-27T22:22:00.000+01:00

I cannot believe how incredibly busy I (and Lovely Laura) have been over the past 3 days. So much so that I (literally) can't sit down properly... I need one of those rubber rings that folk sit on when recovering from haemmoroid (or however you spell it... 'Piles', ha ha) surgery!!

The great thing about making frequent tours to various parts of the country, is that you build up a regular, quality clientele - and you most certainly can't beat that!

Sadly, on this last day of our tour in Belfast, there have been no less than 14 bomb warnings, and a van (safely) blown up on the motorway.

I shall never profess to knowing why people do this; I have no interest in Politics or Religion - both of which are the main causes of wars around the globe, not to mention oil.... I have no care for whichever cause people fight over, I just care for all the innocents who get caught up in the middle of all the absolute inaneness of it all.

Anyway, I shall be back in Glasgow by the time you read this, no doubt.

I'm flying south next Friday in readiness for the Derby at Epsom on Saturday. I have the hat, but (as yet) my dress hasn't arrived, so I just hope it's been delivered whilst I have been away!!

I fly back on Sunday, then off to Inverness on Monday..... such a busy girl!

It's great, innit!!

Love lots

Susan xxx

Belfast May 25-27th And Ash Clouds Of A Different Kind...

2011-05-24T16:28:00.001+01:00

Can you believe this weather???

Why does it have to be like this just as I am due to go on a tour that requires me to travel on a ferry? It'll be just my luck that the ferry will be cancelled on Wednesday (25th May) and I won't be able to make it to Belfast!

I'll still have to pay for the accommodation too as I won't know if the boat's cancelled until the day of travel!

ARRRGH!!

Well, at least my London tour was, once again, a resounding success, despite the bed being so bloody old that the squeaking of it must have alarmed the people 6 floors above me.

Some of my visitors said that they would be happy to 'do it on the floor', lol, but I couldn't have them trying to explain to their other halves as to why they had carpet burns on their knees!

I collected Felix's ashes from the Vet's today,

and Mini-Me and I had considered scattering them in the road where he was Boss Cat. We decided to just keep the ashes in the jar for the time being, especially because of the weather.

Had we gone ahead and scattered them, his ashes would have stretched the length and breadth of the country once the wind caught them!

No, Felix can stay at home with Mini-Me - where he belongs.

So, fingers crossed for Wednesday please, but I shall apologise in advance to those of you who have already made bookings with me if the wind or volcanic ash stops me from travelling..

Love lots

Susan xxx

Touring Dates For JUNE 2011

2011-05-11T16:36:00.000+01:00

I've been getting loads of texts, emails and phone calls asking me for dates when I shall be returning to these locations - oh, what it is to be so popular, lol. So, here they are.

Touring dates for JUNE

INVERNESS - 6th, 7th and 8th June

NEWCASTLE - 20th, 21st and 22nd June

CARLISLE - 27th, 28th and 29th June

To keep up to date with all my touring dates and other news, why don't you just click on the 'FOLLOW' link on the right hand side of the page? Makes life easier that way, lol xxx

A Reminder About May's Upcoming Tours

2011-05-08T14:27:00.000+01:00

Just a little reminder about May's upcoming tours. With the demise of the Daily Sport, internet advertising has to be pushed up a notch - or three.

Apparently THE SUNDAY SPORT is starting again today (in FULL COLOUR)and Newsagents are to be encouraged to keep the paper on the shelves until (at least) Tuesday. But we'll just have to see how things go.

But back to the tour dates...

LONDON - Wednesday 18th - Friday 20th inclusive in the WC1B area

BELFAST - Wednesday 25th - Friday 27th inclusive in the B12 area

A Virgin Cruising The Med!!

2011-05-08T14:09:00.000+01:00

I have been thinking of having a holiday for about 4 years now, and what - with one thing and another - something else always seemed to come up to prevent me taking one.

But I am determined to go away this year, and I think I have decided to take a cruise around the Med!!

The prices aren't TOO bad, but having said that - I have to pay a single supplement. All prices are based on 2 people sharing, but I shall be on my own!

All the normal cabins have either twin beds or a double. (Mostly twins that they say can be pushed together to make a queen sized bed). So why do I have to pay MORE for a cabin, when I shall only be using one single bed, meaning that there will be less laundry to do; fewer towels used etc and I shall only be eating for one person (and probably less than that as I am trying to lose weight, lol).

I did get a very good price for a cruise in the Caribbean, but it would have meant my flying 10 hours to America PLUS, they tell me, it would have been on the Continental and United flights!

Now bearing in mind that Bin Laden is dead and it was United Airlines that were involved in the September 11th tragedy... somehow I don't think I'll bother.

Nope, the Med will be fine for me... 14 nights of chilling out, and several trips to Italy, Spain, France etc will do me fine. Especially as I am a Cruise virgin, ha ha!!

I am a bit concerned that the ship might be full of old people though, but then again - there might be a 98 year old mega-rich guy who wants to sweep me off my feet and encourage me to live the life I wish to become accustomed to!!!

In that case, I shall change my name to Anna Nicola!!

Sex in the City - Glasgow. Read all about it!

2011-04-24T14:26:00.000+01:00

A friend of mine has decided to write a book all about his own personal adventures with the many naughty ladies in Glasgow. From the saunas and massage parlours to the elite Escorts and Dominatrices of the City Centre, you'll be able to read it all.

Winterman has set up a Twitter page to keep you up to date with the book's progress. You can follow him >>>> HERE <<<<

I think it will prove to be good reading from a man who has about 20 years experience of being a punter...

Love Over Gold?

2011-04-18T01:13:00.002+01:00

Many years ago, just after I first moved to Glasgow and before I started in my 'alternative life', a male friend told me that there was a particular song that, he felt, could have been written especially for me.

It's by Dire Straits and is called LOVE OVER GOLD. Listen to it... it's a beautiful song, and reading the lyrics I could understand exactly (even back then) what he meant, and feel that it applies to me more now, than ever...

You walk out on the high wire
You're a dancer on thin ice
You pay no heed to the danger
And less to advice
Your footsteps are forbidden
But with a knowledge of your sin
You throw your love to all the strangers
And caution to the wind

And you go dancing through doorways
Just to see what you will find
Leaving nothing to interfere
With the crazy balance of your mind
And when you finally reappear
At the place where you came in
You've thrown your love to all the strangers
And caution to the wind

It takes love over gold and mind over matter
To do what you do that you must
When the things that you hold can fall and be shattered
Or run through your fingers like dust

Another song that I also believe could have been written for me (for various reasons) is 'I've never been to me', by Charlene...

Again, the video and lyrics..

Hey lady, you, lady, cursin' at your life
You're a discontented mother and a regimented wife
I've no doubt you dream about the things you never do
But I wish someone had a talk to me like I wanna talk to you
Ooh I've been to Georgia and California,
oh, anywhere I could run
Took the hand of a preacher man
and we made love in the sun
But I ran out of places and friendly faces
because I had to be free
I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me

Please lady, please, lady, don't just walk away
'Cause I have this need to tell you why I'm all alone today
I can see so much of me still living in your eyes
Won't you share a part of a weary heart that has lived a million lies
Oh I've been to Nice and the isle of Greece
Where I sipped champagne on a yacht
I moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo
and showed 'em what I've got
I've been undressed by kings
and I've seen some things
That a woman ain't s'posed to see
I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me

Hey, you know what paradise is?
It's a lie,
A fantasy we create about people and places as we'd like them to be
But you know what truth is?
It's that little baby you're holding,
and it's that man you fought with this morning
The same one you're going to make love with tonight.
That's truth, that's love

Sometimes I've been to cryin' for unborn children
That might have made me complete
But I, I took the sweet life and never knew
I'd be bitter from the sweet
I spent my life exploring the subtle whoring that cost too much to be free
Hey lady, I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me

Cooo, Who Put That Window There?

2011-04-18T00:37:00.000+01:00

I do love a challenge, and I discovered that, in the area where I live, there is a competition for the best kept garden.

Now, usually I can't be bothered with all the cutting, trimming, weeding etc, but I do have such a large garden that it would be a shame not to try and stay on top of things.

When I first moved in there was a large vegetable garden - but I have neither the time nor the inclination to grow veggies, so I decided to turn it into a Japanese Garden. My little place of calm, peace and tranquility.

I asked one of my regular Gentlemen if he would be kind enough to dig it over for me, and he very kindly obliged, and on top of that, he bought me two tonnes of gravel to fill it in... he's a very nice man :o)

In the Zen Garden is a 50 year old pear tree, which is in beautiful blossom right now, but when I moved in it was in a very pitiful state. Absolutely covered in black spot from the roots to the top, the leaves and the pears too, once they had grown.

I bought lots of individual pots and have planted in them a Hazel tree, an Acer and some other Japanese plants, and I have an abundance of Buddhas, temples and even a wire Cockerel, lol.

From the pear tree I have two hanging Chinese lanterns (Solar powered), so all in all - it's a very pretty place.

Well, I think so anyway..

So, back to the challenge...

A neighbour of mine asked me to pop in and take a look at his garden (yes, really - it wasn't a ruse like 'Come and see my etchings') and then gushed on about how he had won the local best garden competition for the past 4 years.

Okay, so he has a bit of decking and a square patch of lawn - oh, and a tree in the opposite corner... but he won it like this for 4 years on the trot?

'ere, yer avin' a larf!!

So I thought, right you bugger, let's see if you can make it 5!!

I'll let you know in due course. I'm not quite sure what time of year they do the judging.

So, today having been such a glorious day (actually, that'll be yesterday now by the time I've posted this), I decided to give my lawn it's first cut of the year.

My previous place had a garden the size of the proverbial postage stamp, so my mower was just a dolls sized one, and, although it's a good one, it was taking me forever to cut the grass. Luckily my neighbour popped his head out and asked if I'd like to use his, to which I looked like a nodding dog for a few moments and gleefully accepted his offer.

He has a BIG one! Trust me on that, I had it in my hands for a while...

I zipped around with it in no time at all and now my lawn looks great. I am chuffed to little mint balls with it.

Once done, I took the dog a walk up to the shop. Walking up one of the roads and past some tenements, I suddenly heard, what sounded like, someone slamming an upper window after throwing something out of it.

I thought "Uh-oh! A domestic going on here and wifey has chucked something of hubbies out of the window!"

As I got closer, I suddenly realised that the 'slam' wasn't a window closing, it was a pigeon flying hard into the 2nd floor pane of glass, and it was the poor bird that had fallen onto the concrete below!!

It was just laying there, it's neck obviously broken, but it's wings still flapping about. A pitiful noise coming from it's smashed beak.

A guy walked up behind me and asked if I had seen something being thrown out of a window, and I pointed to the pigeon. It wasn't nice, and less than a minute later it was, most definitely, dead.

The guy went inside and got something to clear the bird away, remarking that he had never seen so much blood from such a small creature.

Now I know that pigeons are classed as vermin, but the way I see it, it is (or was) still a living thing.

I still can't understand how or why it flew into the 2nd floor window when it's a 4 storey building? P'raps the reflection of the sky in the glass confused it.. who knows. Poor little pigeon *sigh*

Kisses xxx

The Daily Sport & Sunday Sport Cease To Exist From Today???

2011-04-01T20:24:00.011+01:00

Oh, bloody marvellous!!

It was announced in the papers today that the Daily Sport and the Sunday Sport are to cease trading with IMMEDIATE effect. How true is this though, bearing in mind that today's date is April 1st?

It does appear to have been VERY widely reported upon, so I guess, then, that it must be true!

I can't understand how they can have gone into liquidation, well, unless the bosses (as with the vast majority of Companies these days) are taking a huge salary for themselves. I mean - when you take into account that, when I am on tour, I pay approx £31 a DAY to advertise. And that's an ad of only a few words over 2 lines.

So, assuming that that is the cheapest ad, then the Sport must be raking in a fortune. Just take a look at how many girls advertise in there on a daily basis. Then, of course, there are agencies/saunas/massage parlours as well as all the other types of advertising too... premium rate numbers/sites etc...

It just seems incredibly odd, if you ask me!

Anyway, here's a link... DAILY SPORT CEASES TO TRADE

Despite the comments that have been left on there, when on tour much of our business comes via this paper. Even in this day and age of technology, there are still many guys who don't have computers, so I wonder how they are going to get their daily fix now?

Well, here's their story anyway if you don't want to click on the link...

Daily Sport and Sunday Sport cease publication after parent company folds

Papers will not be published this weekend as parent company Sport Media Group ceases trading and calls in administrators.

The Daily Sport and Sunday Sport will not be published this weekend and face closure, after their parent company ceased trading on Friday and called in administrators.

Sport Media Group has ceased trading, after suspending trading on the stockmarket earlier on Friday. SMG admitted that an "insufficient recovery" since the poor weather that slammed sales in December, had left it cash-strapped and "uncertain of support" from its bank.

The Daily Sport will not appear on newsstands tomorrow, with printing halted for an indefinite period of time. SMG, which is believed to have about 100 staff, is in the process of appointing an administrator which will seek to sell, or close, the operation.

If no buyer is found, it will be the first closure of a UK national newspaper since News International folded midmarket tabloid Today in November 1995.

The Sunday Sport was first published in 1986, soon establishing its downmarket reputation with an editorial mix of wacky stories – "World War 2 bomber found on moon" – and pictures of large-chested models. A daily version followed in 1991.

"The company announces that as a result of its inability to meet certain creditors as they fall due, the company has today ceased trading with immediate effect," said SMG in a statement.

SMG, which in 2009 was saved from going out of business by former proprietor and West Ham co-owner David Sullivan, had looked like it might have survived the downturn after last month forecasting earnings to be "in excess" of £1m for the year and securing funding through to March 2013.

However, the poor weather in November and December hammered circulation and led to a squeeze on the working capital at SMG's disposal, leading to crisis talks with its bank, RBS, on Friday.

Circulation of the titles peaked in 2005 with the daily at 189,473, the Saturday edition at 110,785 and the Sunday Sport at 167,473.

When SMG took over the company in 2007 it hired Loaded founder James Brown as "consultant editor-in-chief" to help move the title from "sleazy to sexy" and recapture a "bit of the reckless fun of their early days".

However, by 2009 SMG took the decision to withdraw its titles from the official newspaper industry monthly circulation audit after suffering massive declines in sales that left each title with a circulation approaching just one-third of peak levels.

In February of the same year the company unsuccessfully tried to sell the business after receiving "a number of unsolicited approaches".

St Paddy's Day and my Big Fat Gypsy what??

2011-03-16T20:56:00.006Z

What is it with some guys who think that when THEIR mobile phone rings, that nobody else exists, that the place they are in at that time is THEIRS, and to hell with anyone or anything that might just happen to be within a 3 mile radius!

I was on tour in Newcastle last week, and decided to go down to the hotel bar for dinner. The bar wasn't small, in fact it could probably hold about a hundred people, and I chose to sit at the very furthest end so that I could answer my floozy phone in a very discreet manner.

Anyway, I would say that there were about 10 folk in the place at this time. I love to 'people watch' and I was looking at a guy that was standing by a table at the comlete opposite end of the bar to myself.

He was an older guy, I'd say in his late 50's, somewhat overweight and dressed in beige trousers and a shirt with broad, coloured stripes. His belt was worn under as opposed to over his large belly.

He finished his drink and wandered over to the bar for a refill, when all of a sudden that god-awful Nokia ringtone blasted over the sound of the presenters on the tv as they were going over the stats of some American football team or other.

Rather than dive over to the table to retrieve his pone, this guy just slowly (and I do mean slowly) ambled over to the table where it was dancing a merry vibration jig and pressed the answer button...

"HELLO WALTER," He BOOMED.

Jeezus Christ, I nearly choked on my bloody Creme Fraiche!!

The guy strutted up and down the length of the bar, and back and forth from the bar to his table, sharing his conversation with the whole hotel, let alone the bar patrons!

It happens everywhere you go - bars, restaurants, banks, in the middle of the street.. "Look at me. I'm Mr Self-important. I have a mobile phone, and even more than that, I have someone actually CALL me!!"

Pacing up and down, hand in trouser pocket jiggling his balls (and I'm not talking rubber ones here), chest puffed out like the proverbial pigeon and shirt buttons straining across the over-inflated beer belly.

But why, oh why, do they have to SHOUT their conversations?

Back in the day, we women used to say that a guy's car was an extension of his penis - the faster and sportier the car, the smaller the dick. Now it's mobile phones!!

It's made even worse by the fact that the majority of men actually DO have the Nokia ringtone - on the loudest setting of course. Whenever I hear it when I am out and about, I can't help but think of Dom Joly shouting "HELLO!!!"

Oh, I'm not saying that ALL men are like the above, but if the cap fits.... LOL(?)

It's St Patrick's Day tomorrow, and I am in Belfast with the Lovely Laura.

Of course, people are coming from far and wide to celebrate and I am sure that the atmosphere is going to be fantastic. Having said that, a few hours ago TEN travellers (yes the Gypsy kind) booked into the hotel. The women took the screaming, tired kids up to the rooms (via the bar) and the men said that they would be back at some point and to just "shut up...".

Apparently, there are more due to arrive tomorrow - oh joy!

They certainly look nothing like the families on 'My big fat gyspy wedding' - these poor kiddies are running about, barefoot tired, screaming, dirty - oh, and the Manager said that when the families are together, there's very little trouble, but if the guys or the girls are just in their own groups .... watch out!

He 'reassured' us that it's okay as the Police are only 10 minutes away!!

No problem there then.....!!!!

India calling and Valentine's Day...

2011-01-26T21:52:00.006Z

I had an interesting invitation from a friend in my 'normal' life today - offering to pay for my fare to travel to India for a break!!

What an offer! India is one country that I would LOVE to travel to before I die. I love my life as it is, and I have been through some very hard times in the past few years, but to experience life and maybe the poverty in another country would be a fantastic experience.

I have often toyed with the idea of doing some voluntary work overseas, but a few things have put me off.

I'd miss my family incredibly.

The terrible stories of kidnap and murder of volunteers.

How would my rent and bills get paid whilst I was gone?
(Okay, maybe that last reason may sound a tad selfish, but realistically - I would be coming home after a few months and I need a roof over my head.)

All too often I have shed a tear or three when I have seen the adverts for Christian Aid, Oxfam or the like where children are so obviously dying of starvation. And I watch the documentaries of surgeons, doctors and nurses who have volunteered their services to help people in third world countries by giving them free medicines, medical care and life saving operations.

In fact, some of you may know that I have been considering having a mini face-lift done for the past year or so, and, whilst watching one of these documentaries, I discovered that the surgeon I had been to see was leading the team.

It turns out that he specialises in Craniofacial surgery on children, which is a grand enough recommendation for me!!

But knowing this, why do I feel so incredibly guilty about wanting to have the mini face-lift? I haven't met anyone yet who says that I should or need to have it done. Well, apart from Mini-Me... but she knows how I feel about it. Okay, so maybe it's just an 'age thing', but hell, it's my life and my body. No-one else has to live with it.

I had been out with a group of friends one night - just a 'quiet' drink in a country pub, log fire crackling away etc.

Lovely.

Anyway, one of them is a Dentist and he had brought along some of that waxy stuff that they use to take impressions of your teeth. (No, I have no idea as to why he brought it along either!) Anyway, we were talking about the face-lift and we all just played about with the wax. Stretching, pulling, poking.... it still didn't put me off though, lol.

So anyway, a few weeks later my Dentist friend called me to say that he had something for me. He came to drop it off and there was this incredibly weird looking 'sculptor' kind of think that was pink and hard (don't be rude now) but looked incredibly like me!

It turns out that it was the dental wax that we had been playing with in the pub, but my friend said that the last thing he remembered was that he had rolled it into a ball and forgotten that he had left it on the hearth.

Seemingly the regulars must have found it and it was changing hands for weeks till someone left it by their fire.

The strange thing is that none of us had ever been to this pub before and didn't know anyone who worked or drank there - but the wax had been moulded to look just like me!!

Somebody trying to tell me something?

So - India or not? Hmmm, I'll have to have a serious think about that one!!

I am off to London tomorrow for my VIRGIN tour. It's only for a couple of days, but Lovely Laura Lee can't come this time. She's had to cancel, so I guess the two days are going to drag on for me!!

Finally, don't forget it's VALENTINE'S DAY soon.... so DON'T forget your loved ones or even those who mean a little something to you, lol.

Kisses

Susan xxx

Call to reform prostitution!!

2010-12-28T23:27:00.004Z

AT LAST!! A bit of common sense - although, naturally, the 'Powers that be' will be likely to take the credit for something that WG's have been calling for for years!!

But at the end of the day, who cares who takes the credit, just as long as something happens!

A database of men suspected of attacking sex workers should be introduced as part of a wider review of prostitution laws that could see some restrictions relaxed, police chiefs have said.

The Association of Chief Police Officers (Acpo) backed reform in the face of severe budget cuts and the jailing of Stephen Griffiths for the brutal murders of three prostitutes in Bradford.

Deputy Chief Constable Simon Byrne, who leads for Acpo on the issue, said the existing laws were overly complex and that it was time for a debate about whether some aspects of the sex trade could be decriminalised.

Critics say the present regime - which means selling sex is not illegal but brothels and street prostitution are - forces women on to the streets and makes them less likely to seek police help when they need it.

There have been long-standing calls for an examination of ideas such as designated red light zones which could improve safety and Griffiths' jailing for life has also focused attention on the idea of a watch-list of potentially dangerous men.

Sex workers in some parts of the country are already distributing pictures of so-called "ugly mugs" - men who have in the past been violent or threatening towards prostitutes - but it is not co-ordinated across the country. A national roll-out is being examined by the Home Office which is to publish new guidance in the spring on policing problems linked to prostitution.

Mr Byrne told the BBC: "Any murder [is] one too many and if we can do something simple and effective to stop that then we should do so."

Averting killings would not only save lives but also cash from hard-pressed police budgets, he said.

"When times are tough and you have all the austerity and revolution going on in the public service ... there's some hard [edged] maths to be done here," he said. "If you can invest a small amount of money in rolling the scheme out, you can prevent an awful lot of crime."

Asked about more fundamental reforms such as legalising brothels, he said: "Perhaps the law does need changing - some of it is frankly complicated. We'd be keen for a dialogue to see if there's a better way of managing the problem - be it ideas around criminalising some parts of it and not others. I think it's time for that debate."

LINK HERE - And some of the comments are very interesting, as they are HERE

But the comments that really 'Rip my knitting' are those that tell Joe Public that ALL WG's are junkies, pimped and benefit scroungers! They seriously cannot grasp the concept that MANY of us are NONE of these and that we DO actually pay our tax and National Insurance contributions!!

Sleep tight all xxx

Christmas Chaos...

2010-12-22T22:07:00.008Z

I wonder just how many times this title has appeared on the various blogs all over the world? Or been uttered through gritted teeth as folk try and fight their way through the maddening throngs of Christmas shoppers.

Kids being dragged SCREAMING around Toys 'R' Us, in the vain hope that mum's and dad's can get some idea of what little Jenny or Johnny want to find under their Christmas tree.

ARRRGH! I can't handle it all! So much so, that I decided to go shopping in the 24 hour Tesco's close by - after midnight!

Oh, it was so calm and peaceful, and I had no need to rush, or stand in queues that wove their way up one aisle and down another. No harassed Cashier at the checkout hoping and praying that you'll say "No, thank you" when they ask if you need a hand to pack your shopping.

No Dance/Cheerleading Team of youngsters, or Brownies/Guides/Scouts to pack your bags in the completely wrong way in return for pound coins for said groups...

BLISS!!!

Oh dear, I do sound a bit miserable, don't I? But hey - there comes a certain time in your life when it's all you can do to say "Christmas is for kids!!" It's just that when advertising for said 'Silly Season' begins almost at the end of Summer, Selfridges in London having a HUGE window display of Christmas baubles etc in flaming AUGUST, the pressure is then on... and on.... and bloody ON!!

We know when Christmas is - I've known for half a century (OMG!!!!!!), I just don't need it rammed down my goddamn throat for 4 months prior to the main event, thank you.

I keep telling family and friends that I really neither want or need anything for 25th December. I am forever telling them that if you love or care or like someone enough to want to buy them a gift, then you should do so at ANY time of year. Just to let them know how much you care.

Ok, I feel better now I've got it off my (huge) chest. You can come out of hiding, lol.

And having said that about showing someone how much you care and/or appreciate a person, 2 of my very generous clients have bought me some outrageous gifts for Xmas.

From one chap (who has been visiting me for just over 2 years now) I received a gorgeous RADLEY HANDBAG!! (Ok, so you guys don't have a clue when it comes to bags, but it means a LOT to Ladies, especially those like myself who have never been able to afford to buy a designer one!) Anyway, his generosity will ALWAYS be rewarded, *winks*

And from another, I received 2 massive Jack Vettriano prints. One entitled 'An Imperfect past' and the other 'Dancer for Money'. It's going to cost a bit to get them framed, but hey! Who the hell am I to complain?

I'll get them framed early in the year and they'll take pride of place on the wall in my lounge.

Finally, just a reminder about my tours in January - they're all up there, at the top of the page on the right hand side.... go on, take a look ^^^

So, despite my wee 'rant' about Christmas, I really do want to wish you all a very happy one - especially to all the Gentlemen who have come and visited me all over the country, and an extremely prosperous New Year to one and all.

Mistletoe Kisses

Susan xxxxx

www.susan-glasgow.co.uk

Winters Beauty…

2010-11-29T23:09:00.003Z

Winters Beauty…

The night it fell was so beautiful.
But soon afterwards
I found myself following in complete strangers footsteps.
I had no knowledge of where I was headed at that time,
But I knew that, at least for some of the journey,
It was what was a necessary path for me…

I travelled forward on silent foot
Not wishing to disturb others who may be about.
Not wishing to draw attention to me and mine
But to carry on course with my head held
As high as possible.
Or, at least, as high as it would permit me.

Yet, as much as I wanted to take in its beauty
Its beauty stung my eyes
And made me turn them downwards
To the path that we were wearily walking upon.
I tried to count my steps
But its beauty changed…

Knowing that it was a matter of urgency now,
We had to turn towards home.
To the warmth of the hearth
And fluids to revive us.
Turning into the gate I kicked the virgin snow from my boots
And the dog bounded ahead to the fireside…

By ME, Susan Glasgow

I Do Love a Challenge, But This Is Not For The Feint-Hearted!!

2010-11-28T15:25:00.010Z

On occasion, some of the blogs that I write may seem quite mad and random. Now, those who really know me know that I am quite mad and random in my 'normal' life, but is actually, mainly due to the fact that there is a kind of competition going on between us Ladies and we are set a challenge to use a particular word or phrase...

No prizes thus far, but hey - it's not about the winning but the taking part!

I do love a challenge...

What follows is completely true - and is NOT for the Feint-Hearted!!

I am involved in a lot of things in my life, and one of those is that I am, in fact, a quite well-known Fetish Model. (As this is a totally separate part of my life, I am not going to give you my Web name. Some things are best left private for my own safety and security!!)

This particular site has been running for about 6 years now and, in my photo shoots, I tend to wear a hell of a lot of Latex Rubber - especially catsuits.

So, on one particular occasion I was due to wear one of the said catsuits. It takes an absolute age to pull them on, although there are several techniques for doing so. One can cover oneself in talcum powder, but this tends to leave powder all over the outside of the costume, or one can smear oodles of Lube (yes, there really IS more than one way to use Lube, lol) all over ones body.

This is the option I usually use (and my Photographer has no qualms in helping me out with this...) but it can be a very cold process and makes ones nipples stand out a mile!!

So, we slowly but very firmly roll the catsuit up over my legs and body, it is actually still quite a struggle. To get such a suit to look it's best, it should be in a size smaller than your normal dress size, so trying to squeeze my 36F's into such a [usually] tight material really takes it out of you.

My catsuits always have a 2-way zipper which runs from the front of the neck, through the crotch area and up to the lower back.

Okay, so about 20 minutes of tugging, pulling and tucking everything into the suit, the next stage is trying to zip it up, ensuring that EVERYTHING is inside. Please bear in mind that to get an absolutely smooth look to the suit, one cannot wear even a G-string as the elastic will definitely show through.

So, to pull the zipper up from the back and through my legs and upwards, one of us (Photographer) has to pull the Latex Rubber together whilst I pull up the zipper.

For some reason though, on this occasion, I was really struggling to get a good grip on the zip tab, so I decided the best option would be to pull it up by putting the hook of a clothes hanger through the zip tab and use the hanger itself to yank it up.

All was going well and I managed to get it to just below my bust-line, then disaster struck!!!

The fecking zip tab broke off, and with the suit being so very very tight, the zipper just flew down, past my belly button and then stopped!!

I screamed, tried so hard not to cry and beads of sweat broke out on my forehead...

It had come to a sudden stop by getting caught on my Labia!!

(Guys, you have my utmost sympathy if you have ever caught your manhood in your flies!!!)

The pain was unbelievable and the only thoughts running through my screaming brain were, "I can't pass out, I just can't...." as well as, "How the hell am I going to explain THIS in accident and emergency?"

Can you just visualize me trying to squeeze my thighs together, thinking that if I did so that it would lessen the pain, and my Photographer (with his head stuck as best he could) between my thighs, trying to ease my womanly flesh out from between the teeth of the zipper!

I couldn't move, I couldn't sit down, I couldn't stand as still as I knew I should because I was in absolute agony.

The thought that, maybe, if I just yanked the zipper backwards that it would (possibly) only be a few moments of pain but at least I would have been freed, kept coming to mind, but then all I could think about was a lump of my bloody flesh still being stuck in the zipper!

I had him running to the kitchen for some cooking oil and poured both that and copious amounts of Lube onto the affected area.

Finally, after what seemed an absolute lifetime (but was probably only about ten minutes), we managed to free me somehow, and I just collapsed into the chair - head between legs and examined my delicate parts!

It wasn't a pretty sight, and I thought that I was going to be scarred for life, but thankfully - all is well with the world, lol!!

Amazingly though, after a cup of sweet tea and a retouch of my make-up, my Photographer suggested that we then do a shoot in the same catsuit, but leaving it open!

"Are you kidding me?" I asked him. "Have you seen the state of it? It's covered in blood and all sorts!"

"Don't worry about it, we'll manage" he smiled.

I knew he was right - the whole thing was reversible; completely made out of rubber.

The show must go on! I am a professional, after all!!

Spurting, Squirting or Gushing?

2010-11-25T13:15:00.005Z

I am amazed to find that the most popular of all the pics or videos that I have is the SPURTING FEMALE EJACULATE video.

You can find them HERE

But then again, I should have known that, as I get asked on many of my bookings, if I could actually do that for the Gent.

To be honest, it isn't something that I can do every single time - I have to be in the right mood for a start, but when I do do it, it is quite exhausting!

Just as I reach that 'point of no return', I can feel an intense 'welling up' of all my emotions and I go incredibly light headed, tingling with (what feels like) electrical pulsing rushing up from my knees to the top of my head!!

I can achieve this with both my Rampant Rabbit and my Hitachi Magic Wand (that was definitely a great purchase and well worth the £70 I paid for it, lol)! (See pic)

The tours have been going brilliantly this year, but as I am about to take December off from doing them, you'll check either here or the UPCOMING TOURS section of my Adultwork profile to see when I shall be in a City near you.

A new addition to this shall be CENTRAL LONDON...

As always, I am nowhere near prepared for Christmas, but Mini-Me has decided that I shall be spending Christmas day at her place. YAY! I am so happy to let someone else do all the cooking then, and I shall just sit back and watch with glee. (Bless 'er, lol).

I'm off to Inverness next week, so I just hope that the roads aren't going to be closed due to the snow. As long as I can get up there, that's fine. If the roads are closed for the return journey - oh well, I guess I can always find something/one to do whilst snowed in *winks*.

Winter hugs to all,

Susan xxx

New Tour Dates for January 2011...

2010-11-25T12:30:00.010Z

As some of you already know, I shall NOT be touring during December - well, not after 4th of December anyway.

I've decided to take the month off to catch up with myself and my 'normal' home life. (What is normal though?)

But, I have now added the NEW TOUR DATES for January 2011 to the right hand side of my page, but if you're too lazy to move your eyes to that side of your screen, then here they are listed below...

BELFAST - 5th, 6th, 7th January
CARLISLE - 12th. 13th. 14th January
NEWCASTLE - 19th, 20th, 21st January
CENTRAL LONDON - 27th, 28th January (This is my VIRGIN tour of London...)

That is all - carry on!! x

Drug Dogs and Designer Handbags...

2010-11-21T23:39:00.008Z

I have finally found some time to be able to write another blog!

When I first started blogging, I had every intention of posting one at least once a week, but there are often just not enough hours in the day as far as my life is concerned. And there are many times when something happens and I truly mean to blog about it, then something else comes up and the moment quickly passes and/or I completely forget as to what it was that I was going to prattle on about!

But anyway, I am here now, so read on....

Laura and I have just returned from Belfast where, once again, we had a fantastic time. Well, for the most part anyway.

We were due to sail last Wednesday, but Stena Line called me on Tuesday to say that the ferries were cancelled for 24 hours due to the terrible weather conditions, and could they change the booking to the Thursday?

OMG!! Panic began to set in as I thought about the potential for the weather to remain in such a state, the fact that the hotel was already booked and we would lose that money, as well as losing out on bookings for a day and a half.

So I got straight on the phone to Laura and suggested that we fly - assuming that the adverse weather conditions didn't affect the flights too. So, as we were speaking on the phone, we both Googled and finally managed to get cheap flights for the Wednesday.

I am not very good on take-offs, but I was a brave girl and managed NOT to sink my long nails into Laura's arm as I did some deep breathing.

It was only a 45 minute flight, so there was no breakfast but we asked for tea. (We do love our cuppas!)

"Oh, I'm so sorry Madam. We can't serve tea due to the turbulence. It would be too dangerous!"

Oh great!!

The guy in the seat in front of me kept farting (SBD/SBV's - Silent but Deadly/Violent)....

The plane kept going up and down, making me feel as though, perhaps, the ferry may have been a safer option after all...

Then we arrived in Belfast in some of the worst rain and wind I have seen and felt for a long time!

Anyway, we settled into the hotel and all was going well. But on the Thursday evening, we heard what sounded like gunshots very close to the hotel.

"Don't worry," said my visitor. "It's just some fireworks - bangers!"

I wasn't convinced, but then again I thought it was probably a bit of paranoia on my part, being as we were in Belfast...

On Friday morning, Laura tells me that she had been watching the early morning News where there was a report of a man being shot in the legs in the City Centre at about 6.30pm the night before.

Wonderful!!! (Not!)

Coming back home on Saturday (by ferry) - the weather had improved dramatically and we ambled into the Stena Plus Lounge, bagging ourselves a comfy chair each. Then the Captain makes an announcement.... apparently there was a mechanical fault and the departure was going to be delayed by about an hour!

Oh JOY!!!

One hour and ten minutes later, we began to pull out of the port and headed back to Stranraer.

A very uneventful crossing (and about time too) until we disembarked, collected our luggage and headed through to the exit.

Naturally there were Customs Officers and Police there as well as the sniffer dog. A cute little Springer Spaniel that went by the name of Buster.

Well, Stap me vitals if the damned dog didn't pounce on my newly acquired Mischa Barton designer handbag!! He LEAPT at it and on it - I actually thought that he was about to hump the leather, and then panic set in as I realised that this was, after all, a bloody DRUGS DOG!!

I asked the Officer if he wanted me to step over to the side, but he laughed and replied that there was no need to do so. Buster had just taken a fancy to my bag!

Isn't it funny though, that when something like that happens one automatically feels guilty, even when there is absolutely nothing to feel guilty about!

I Have Been To The Dentist...But I Am Alive!

2010-11-04T18:14:00.005Z

OOOPS! I am so sorry for not having got back sooner after my fright of having someone open my front door in the early hours of the morning!

So, following on from that... the Police came out within about 20 minutes and tried to convince me that it was probably just some drunk having a laugh!!

Right, okay! So the nearest pub to me is about a mile away. I live in a very quiet area and to get to my front door you need to walk down a long path before getting to my squeaky gate (which I did not hear opening, neither did the dog), and then a walk down another long-ish path. The fact that the gate was shut when I eventually looked out of my door didn't seem to concern the Police. They said they couldn't see any footprints in the soil (ummm, the soil is at the opposite side to my door).

I kept trying to tell them that perhaps whoever it was had come over the wall at the rear of the house, or run out behind the house and through the neighbours gate?

No, they insisted, it was some drunk trying to wind you up!

AAAAARGH!!!!

Why couldn't they just admit that they were as 'in the dark' as I was?

But hey ho, I am alive and well and totally paranoid about locking my door day and night now. I am beginning to feel like a prisoner in my own home *sigh*!

Today I had a Dentist appointment. Now I have always found it weird (or coincidental) that 98% of my Dentist appointments are at 2.30pm.

Toof hurtee .... think about it, ha ha haaa.

Anyway, having a mouth full of Amalgam (okay, not quite a mouth FULL) has always bothered me as I am aware of the long-term consequences of having mercury slowly seeping it's way into your system. NOT GOOD!

So, as I was booked in to have the filling from one of my molars removed and refilled, I asked my Dentist if I could have it filled with porcelain or whatever the white stuff is called (lol). Okay, so it's going to cost me a bit more but 1) I have less Amalgam and 2) in the throes of passionate love making, it will look far neater and healthier to whomever is on top of me at the time!!

Laying in the chair, I was informed that I had to have impressions taken of both my upper and lower teeth. Not a problem as I've had that done before.

Only THIS time, when the uppers were being done... the goo was put into the shield and pushed into place in my mouth, but as it was pressed into position some of the goo oozed out of the back of it and worked its way into my throat.

OH BOY! Did I ever start to gag! It was like performing 'deep-throat' only I was no longer in control!!

I could feel my eyes beginning to water and my face go brighter and brighter red as I gagged time and time again.

"Breathe through your nose," said the Dentist. "Let's sit you up a bit, but please don't pull it out as we'll only have to do it over again!"

Oh, did I happen to mention that he had said that I had to have this in my mouth for FIVE & a HALF MINUTES for it to set???

I could feel the sweat breaking out on my forehead (not a good sign when I'm gagging, I can tell you!) But I was determined that I was not going to be sick nor did I want to have to go through this again, and with sheer willpower I managed to breathe through my nose.

PHEW!! I was able to relax and wipe the tears from the corners of my eyes.

"Okay, only 2 minutes left..." said my gorgeous Dentist.

All I wanted to do was grab his balls and gain his assurance that it WAS only another 2 minutes!

Everything turned out fine in the end though, and I forgave him.

I have to go back 20 days time though to get the temporary filling out and the white stuff in.

Got my Tax Bill in yesterday. When I read the letter, I felt sick then too. My throat went dry and I realised that the things that I had been saving hard for were just going to have to be put off for another year!!

Is this what is known as being a victim of ones own success? Oh well, I'd rather be legitimate where the Inland Revenue is concerned - you can't work in this line of business from a prison cell!

The tours have been going very well though and my next one is in Carlisle, so I am looking forward to that one too.

I shall not be touring during December though as Mini-Me has the chance of a lot of overtime, so I shall be attending to my Nannying duties.

Love lots

Susan xxx

OMG!! Someone Just Opened My Door!!

2010-10-14T00:18:00.002+01:00

Whilst I was writing my last post, I heard my front door open quite hard. I leapt out of my chair and shouted out - "Who is it?" If it were one of the family, they would have answered but there was no sound, other than the door being pushed hard against the wall.

I shouted out again, but there was still nothing, so I grabbed the nearest thing to hand which was an over-sized cardboard tube of garden incense sticks and hovered behind the inner door. (Yeah, okay, so it would have probably just bent if I'd hit them...)

There was no choice, I HAD to open the inner door to lock the front door. I was trying to think as to whether I had heard the metal garden gate open, but it hadn't, so whoever it was that had opened my door had to have entered my garden through the back of the property!

I've just called the Police and they're going to send someone round....

Yes, my door should have been locked already at this time of night, but I live in a very quiet area. It's locked now though, and so it shall be every day and night from now on.

My hands are shaking like a bloody vibrator right now.... aaaaargh!!!

Hurrah for the Chilean Miners!!

2010-10-14T00:05:00.003+01:00

How lucky are the Chilean miners - well, now that almost all of them have surfaced from their dark, hellhole of the past 69 days.

At the time of writing this, the 29th miner has risen from the bowels of the earth, and hopefully the rest of the 33 men will breathe fresh air again by the time I wake up in the morning!!

I keep thinking to myself, "I really hope that they don't scrap the 'Phoenix'!" It should be placed in the state museum, or whatever they call it over there. A silly thought perhaps but it is, literally, a life-saver and has been aptly named.

So, the next time you're wearing your Copper bracelet or whilst you're bending Copper pipes when doing the odd DIY job - just remember where that particular material came from!

Tomorrow (actually, it's today) I am off to Carlisle with Laura for a few days fun and frolics. I'll be keeping my beady eye on her though as she recently had to undergo surgery on her breast to remove a couple of lumps.

(And you guys call us Ladies 'The WEAKER sex'???)

HA! You ain't got a clue, lol...

XXX

Sirens, Screeching Tyres and Fresh Panties Needed..

2010-10-02T23:55:00.010+01:00

Well, just back from Newcastle and I get the strongest of feelings that it only ever rains there when I arrive!!

Seemingly, it was brilliant weather on Thursday until about 2pm (when I arrived) and then the heavens opened up! Well, according to the taxi driver, anyway. And then guess what? As soon as my cases were packed this morning - it bloody stopped!!

I had rung Mini-me to ask what the weather was like in Glasgow... "It's quite nice," she said. Yeah - until my train pulled into Glasgow Central earlier this evening!!

That's it - I've had enough! I'm moving - I am going to live beneath the biggest sunlamp that I can find...

Laura, Faye and I decided to try out a different hotel than the place we usually stay when we tour Newcastle. The photos and description on Laterooms.com made the hotel sound as though we would be nestling in the lap of luxury. PAH! How flipping wrong can one be?

The luxurious swimming pool, gym, spa etc was accessed by walking over the car park; the hotel itself was undergoing refurbishment and there was scaffolding everywhere INSIDE of the building. You weren't allowed to use the stairs at all and, should you need to enter or exit the hotel, you had to cower beneath the glare of the Receptionists.

The bar was dead, and last night, Laura and I decided to try the other bar that was below the hotel.

OMFG!! I thought, at first, that we had walked into a Drag Show! looking around at the folk that were in the place, you would have also been forgiven for thinking that it was, perhaps, an early celebration of Halloween or an over-spill of the Rocky Horror Show!!

The girls just HAD to be about 14 and trying to look 25 with their short belts (Umm, I mean skirts), back-combed high hair and make up so thick, black and high that you'd think that they were all vying for the part of the young Cruella DeVille.

No sign of any Dalmation puppies though...

Aaaaanyway - earlier on in the evening, Luscious Laura had taken a call from some guy who eventually called to confirm that he was literally just a few paces away from the hotel. So - LL gave him the room number and awaited his arrival.

And waited...

And waited even more...

Then she text me to say that he hadn't arrived.

Slight panic set in as he had the room number.... *gulp*

Uh-oh, what to do? Well, nothing we could do really but just put it down to him being a dick. So off we went, to hover around outside of the main entrance and have a cigarette or two...

Next thing we know, there are all these sirens and blue flashing lights screeching around the corner in front of us .... 2 police vans and a police car and they slammed on their brakes just to the left of the entrance of the hotel.

"Oh my actual God," cried Laura. "I bet it's to do with that guy - he got my room number and we're about to get raided!"

We just stood, the both of us, frozen to the spot and inwardly panicking!! Of course, WE know that we're not doing anything illegal, but the very thought that all these boys and girls in blue were about to pounce on us made us 'almost' pee our pants!!

Turning around to face the inevitable, we noticed that they were actually running in the opposite direction to us, and were off to break up some fight or other in the subway!!

PHEW!!!

So, thank goodness for the freaky gals in the downstairs bar for making us laugh and enable us to relieve some tension, lol.

Now, if you ever go to Newcastle and are driving, whatever you do - DO NOT park near the Royal Station Hotel. There's a guy who works in there (24 hours, by the way he never seemed to go home!) who actually hovers, waiting for someone to park, lock their car and walk away, and no sooner have they moved than he is out and donning a Denver Boot onto said vehicle!

"Yeah, mate - that'll be £90 to get it removed!"

He seemed to walk with a 'goose step' and I swear he was beginning to grow one of those little moustaches that I have seen in a photo somewhere...

So, what else happened? Ummm, oh yes. I decided to go and get my hair done and paid the princely sum of £40 for the privilege - and as soon as I stepped out of the salon the rain lashed down, the gale became a hurricane, pulling my umbrella inside out and there was I - now looking as though I had just been dragged backwards through the proverbial bloody hedge!!

UUURGH!!

Then yesterday, because Faye had a family emergency had had to return home the day that we had arrived (thankfully things are okay for her now though), Laura and I had to get a train back to Glasgow. How much do you think it would be to travel on a single trip? £55.50 each!!

But the woman at the station was great and she wangled it for us to pay only £25 each, but we could only travel at a particular time.

So, cases stored in the hotel broom cupboard we went shopping until we caught the choo-choo at 4.20pm. All change at Carlisle where it was a quick dash outside for a puff before we caught the connecting train.

Now, when we got off the first train, I asked the guard if we were on the correct platform to get the 5.47 to Glasgow. Yes, he said... so off we went for a smoke.

We got back in in plenty of time and sat down to wait. An announcement came over the tannoy that the train would shortly be arriving. A few minutes later there was another announcement to say that the train was at platform 1 (we were at platform 3) so we grabbed our cases and legged it over the bridge.

Then it dawned on me that we were going in the wrong direction and, as LL's long legs were faster than mine, she was already at the bottom of the opposing stairs so I screamed at her that we had to go back. (Talk about making a show of myself!!)

So, back we ran, with me yelling at folk to get out of my way (lol - my apologies to those people)and I was just about to hit the door button on the train when another guard shouted out that we were too late!!

OMG! We thought our hearts and lungs were going to give out with all that exercise! It took us almost the half hour wait to recover...

It's just as well Laura loves me really, lol.

Well, we're now back in our respective homes and shan't be touring for a few weeks as Laura has to go into hospital to have the(Benign)lumps removed from her breast. I hope that all goes well for her and that she makes a very speedy recovery.

I know that we shall all be sending her healing vibes and wish BT and TP all the luck in the world for looking after the patient .... *chuckles*

I shall be out Tonight for my birthday 'do', so don't expect me to be answering my phone too early on Monday, lol.

Hugs to all
Susan xxx

Today Is My Birthday.... YIPPEEEE!

2010-09-28T00:34:00.006+01:00

Yes, September 28th is a very special day for me, I am 29 - again. (Because I SAID SO, OKAY!!!) lol.

Some of my lovely callers have already sent me cards and brought me a HUGE chocolate cake with 'Happy Birthday Susan' written on it in white icing (I am assuming it IS icing, as it was quite thick and not runny....), a beautiful pair of silver earrings with Sapphires in (my birthstone), and even some monetary gifts too, so thank you sooooo very much to you guys. You know who you are xxx

I shall be celebrating with family and a few friends at the weekend - actually, it's already started as of LAST weekend. That's what happens when you have a birthday mid-week, lol.

I have also received my very first review on PunterNet. It's a good day for me...

So - did you watch X-Factor at the weekend?

Did you also watch 'This Morning' yesterday?

Chloe Victoria - "I am NOT a prostitute! I have never sold myself for sex....!"

Yeah, RIGHT.... Little Miss who HAS almost doubled her prices. AH! But, she claims, that is ONLY for a lapdance (£250 an hour for a 'lapdance???') Bloody hell, I guess those who Do work as Escorts had better review their price lists!!

BTW - she's offering herself and her mate at a gangbang party which is taking place in Leeds on 29th September... well, 2 parties actually. No doubt she'll say her Adultwork profile has been tampered with by someone who doesn't like her....

Hmmm, that could be ANYone UK-wide.

Check her out - Candy_Escort...

Yes, Okay, I admit it - I have only written the above because I am so 'terribly jealous' and 'so want to be like her'.....

NOT!!!!!

So, this is just a short blog - it's late and I am off to bed - complete with my Primark fleecy PJ's and electric blanket. It's bloody freezing here tonight!!

I just came on to share my Happy Day with you all, lol.

Loads of kisses and hugs
Susan xxx

Floosie Phone, Sneezing & Sensations...

2010-09-21T23:35:00.007+01:00

This morning I was in a state of sheer panic. I had an appointment at lunchtime and I couldn't find my Floosie Phone anywhere. There were only three places it could possibly be, and it wasn't in any of them.

Dog must have thought I had gone mad because I even kept asking him if he'd seen it, or moved it, or worse still - decided to take it as a new toy and destroyed it! But no, he couldn't help...

Seemed I was barking up the wrong tree!

Thankfully I had noted down the chaps number, so I text him from my other phone. Unfortunately, said chappie had to cancel, which really was a relief for me as I haven't been well since I left Inverness.

Apparently I must be working too hard and over-doing things a little, but in this current economic climate one must do what one must to make a shilling or two. Still, I really must slow down a bit otherwise I won't be fit for anything at all, and I can't go without 'certain things' such as....

SEX!!!

Yes, surprisingly enough, even in my 'normal life' I enjoy it...

I guess I use the excuse that sex makes me feel better, even though it is very difficult to give a decent BJ without sneezing or dripping snot all over a guy, lol. Okay, not such a pretty picture, and I swear that I am practicing hard to enable me breathe out of my ass and ears as best I can when my mouth is closed around something or other!

But all is fair in love and war, and my insistance that my receiving oral is great for 'clearing my tubes' usually pays off and I'll just lie back and take my 'medicine' like only a good woman can.

Oh, the things I have to do to get my health back on track, lol.

But do you know, when it comes to a man (or woman for that matter) giving me oral, one of my favourite things that I have fairly recently discovered is to have a tongue running just gently along, up and down my outer labia (thats the big outside lips, to you commoners, lol). And also around the (as someone put it recently) the 'saucers' which are right at the very top of my inner thighs - you know, the bits that dip in?

Oooh, just thinking about it is giving me goosebumps....

"DAVIIIID!!!"

(He's the one who can do it just perfectly and also named these dips as saucers...)

I am trying to teach all the guys where to go and how to do it, so listen, you menfolk - how about you try it on your Ladies? You can even gently and softly rub or stroke the outer labia and give the same sensation. If your Lady doesn't enjoy it and get at least a little pleasure from it, then she needs taking out of the deep freeze and defrosted!!

See, even at my age I am still learning - and lovin' it!!

Okay, now off you pop and give it a go. Trust me, you'll thank me for it (as should the girls...)

Oh, I found my phone by the way - it was under the pillows on my bed!! How or why it was there is beyond me! I put it down to my single brain-cell being bunged up with the proverbial snotty stuff.... lol xxx

State Visit? What A Mass Mess....

2010-09-15T16:16:00.005+01:00

Okay, I think you all know by know as to just how pissed off I am about this Papal 'State Visit'!!

I promise that this will be my last rant over this as I am leaving Glasgow for Inverness - just to get away from all this idiotic hoo-haa.

Yesterday, I took Dog for a walk in Bellahouston Park only to discover that some of the roads had been barricaded off a day before it was advertised that they would do so.

Mini-me comes to see me and tells me that as soon as she had walked into her work yesterday, she was told in no uncertain terms that if she (or any of the other staff) are late getting into work, they will be sacked!! This, despite the fact that her employers know that she lives on the other side of Bellahouston Park and that the trains have been cancelled, as have the vast majority of buses. Those buses that are still running have no guarantee of being anywhere on time because of the Pilgrims.

Trees have definitely been cut down in the Park so that there is a clear view for all the Pilgrims of his Holiness. The tree surgeons were in the park a couple of days ago removing these 'offending' objects... stumps and all.

Folk living in the Dumbreck high flats have been told that they are NOT allowed to leave their homes as of today until Friday! So, what about all the old folk who live there or in the surrounding houses who have been barricaded into the streets and who need to have home services visit them? Those who need to have their lunches and dinners delivered to them?

God forbid that anyone should be taken ill or there's a fire and the Emergency Services need to get immediate and urgent access.

All this disruption and the Mass isn't even until 5.15pm on Thursday!

And then to have those visiting old folk telling me that the Catholic Church has paid for the visit?

Is it any wonder that I am so freaking angry??

AAARRRGGGHHHHHH!

So, I am looking forward to my trip to Inverness more than usual because I shall be away from it all. I hope that those who have to work in the City Centre make it there in and on time and that after our 'visitor' has left that these people still have jobs to go to.

And if they can't make it - who the hell is going to pay them their lost earnings? Or will they be suspended from making a claim for benefits because it would be classed as them being sacked through their own fault?

Yeah, Politics and Religion have a hell of a lot to answer for.

Okay, rant over - I am back to my usual sweet self, and I love you all really.

Squeezy Hugs
Susan xxx

Belfast and The Oscar Award Goes To....

2010-09-12T17:12:00.007+01:00

Oh my, I didn't realise that it has been so long since I last blogged! Well, I have been pretty busy of late with my trip to London and my Belfast tour.

Firstly, my London trip was great (as it usually is). I went to the theatre to see Prisoner on 2nd Avenue with Jeff Goldblum, and also The Jersey Boys. I have to say that I was rather disappointed with Mr Goldblum's performance. Perhaps it's just that he is not meant to be on stage, but stick with his films?

I did enjoy the production, but he just seemed to be very wooden and stilted. At one point, I did wonder if he was actually feeling a tad under the weather. Poor guy though, he had buckets of water dropped on him a couple of times (part of the storyline), and I hoped that the water was warm for him, lol.

The Jersey Boys was brilliant though. It's the story of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. Sadly, the actor who played Frankie in the first half was replaced during the interval for some unknown reason. Maybe it was that his voice had given out due to the extremely high notes that he'd had to sing. I hope he made a quick recovery, whatever the reason.

But definitely a show I would recommend anyone to go and see. I even bought the cast's version of the CD - and the tracks even contain some French Rap, if you can believe it. Brilliant - 12/10!!

Naturally, I went to Camden Market and bought some PVC wear. A lovely deep red and black corset that has loads of straps and buckles across the front, mmmm, tres sexy! As well as that, I purchased a black and white one which also had net and lace petticoats - very burlesque, and I fell in love with it.

Sadly, as it is an outdoor market, there is nowhere to try these things on, and it wasn't until I returned to Glasgow that I realised it was a size small! My rather large assets automatically push my top half up to an XL, so I wept as I passed it over to Mini-me - she of the size 8 figure!

Never mind though, I bought another red and black outfit whilst I was in Belfast - a corset with a tight skirt type thingy. It'll look great with my vintage seamed stockings and heels... ok, you can stop drooling now, boys, lol.

So, onto Belfast.

The ferry crossing was better than I expected, with no mountainous waves crashing over the deck, and even the food was pretty good.

It had been arranged for a taxi to collect myself, Laura and Faye to take us to the apartments that we had booked. The driver was very chatty and gave us loads of tips about Belfast and it wasn't long until we arrived. Laura had called ahead to arrange for the keys, but there was no-one in sight and we began to get worried.

To be honest, the place looked nothing like the one I had Google Street viewed, so we were even more concerned. Luckily the driver had just popped into the office to speak to someone, and when he came out, we told him that this was the wrong place.

So, cases back in the boot and off we went again.

But when we arrived at the next place, we realised that this was NOT the place to do a tour. The office/reception was literally opposite the front door, and the office door was kept open.

So, I drew on my acting skills the second I stepped into the place. (Yes, I actually DO have an HNC in Acting and Performance!)

I don't want to write what I had actually said, as I really don't want to tempt fate, (I still feel bad about what I did anyway, lol)but needs must, and all that.

Suffice it to say that I 'made' a brilliant phone call to someone, and burst into tears at the 'terrible news' and, apologizing to the receptionist, reported that we all had to get back to Scotland immediately!!!

A taxi was called to take us to the airport, and once in the said taxi, the driver said 'airport?' to which we all yelled --- "No, just get us out of here and into the City Centre!!"

The girls had said that I had given an Oscar winning performance (standing ovation please....)

Well, we trawled around 3 hotels trying to find one that didn't have key-card access to the lift. I had a 5pm appointment and it was now 4.35. We all sat with our iPhones out, checking the 'Aroundme' app looking for other hotels. Finally, Laura found one and asked... "One of our party is disabled and can't use a key-carded lift, is yours just buttons?" Thankfully the answer was yes.

'PHEW!!!!'

So we jumped into yet another cab and flew up there. A quick handstand in the shower, changed into to sexy lingerie, kept calm and carried on!!

So, apart from that, Belfast turned out to be a fantastic time and we'll be heading back there very soon. The Irish guys are just fantastic - better than I imagined, if truth be told...

Ciao for now, luvvie dahlings
Susan xxx

Off to London for some R&R - and my new website!

2010-08-30T21:12:00.008+01:00

I'm not going to be around for the rest of the week as I am off to London for some much needed R&R, courtesy of one of my lovely Gents...

I'll be going to the theatre for a couple of shows and also to some our favourite restaurants - J.Sheeky's and The Ivy, as a treat for my upcoming birthday (Hint! Hint!) I love the ambiance of these eateries, not to mention the celeb spotting too, of course, lol.

Of course, I shall be making my usual trips to the naughty shops in Soho as well as a couple of trips to Camden Lock. I love the sights and sounds there as well as slowly ambling through the many shops in the market. I'll be on the lookout for more vintage wear when I am there - you know how much I love the 40's style lingerie. Corsets, stockings and even the odd bullet bra (if I can ever find them to fit my size boobs!)

I haven't been terribly well for the past month, so a nice, relaxing break is just what the doctor ordered. Lots of lie in's and taking it as easy as I want to - just to give my body, mind and soul a chance to catch up.

There are still quite a few tours coming up so I need to get back on track health-wise.

There has been a very recent addition to my family - a baby girl who was born on Friday. (No, not my baby, lol.) But she's gorgeous...

I have refurbished my website and now the links actually work too! It's very easy to navigate and has a few more pics on - just to give you an idea of the different types of outfits that are on offer. I shall be adding more photos soon too. If you want to take a look, CLICK HERE >>> www.susan-glasgow.co.uk (Opens in a new window)

If you visited my previous site and find that when clicking on the above link you are still getting the 'Flash into' - you will need to clear your cache. The new site is a sexy, sultry red...

Enjoy the rest of your week as much as I know I am going to enjoy mine, and I shall be back in Glasgow on Friday, just for a couple of days before heading off to Belfast!

Big hugs all
Susan xxx

Carlisle Capers and the Demise of the Pigeon..

2010-08-19T21:35:00.008+01:00

Well, LL and I are back in Carlisle.

It's turned out to be a damned good tour again, and if truth be told - I am glad to be heading back home.... for a rest, lol.

A sad start tour the tour though...

As we drove into the car park we noticed a bedraggled pigeon just sitting in the middle of the road. We sat in the car and waited for it to move but it was obviously injured.

So Laura decided to give it a helping hand and got out of the car. She very carefully and gently began to gently usher the poor wee thing to the side of the road, but it took a while as it's leg and wing were so obviously damaged. It had probably been hit by a car whose thoughtless driver had either not realised or was just an unthinking and unfeeling git!

It was a sight to behold though - the Tall Irish Goddess bent almost double and taking baby steps to save this little bird from a horrible fate...

Anyway, fairly confident that it was now out of harms way, we parked up and unloaded our cases and headed into the hotel.

As we booked in, Laura asked the reception staff if they would go and get her a small piece of bread for the bird, but they directed her to the restaurant. We decided to plonk our bags first and then go and feed it, but then it was decided that it could be crueller to do this as it was on its last legs anyway, and to feed it would quite probably be just prolonging its demise.

We both felt bad about it, but sometimes you just have to let nature take its course. So we headed off to grab a cuppa before starting work, and feelng bad for the bird, Laura gave the waitress a quid and asked her to please go and feed the pigeon. But after a few minutes, the lass came back and said she couldn't find it!

Off LL went and returned with the bread roll still in her hand and told me that the bird had gone.

"What? Gone as in disappeared? Or gone as in to the big aviary in the sky?" I asked..

"Put it this way," she said sadly, "It's now only about yea thick...!"

So to the uncaring, unfeeling git that squashed our little 'piddy-fing', may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits!!!

Anyway, did you happen to read the Highland News today (if you happen to be in the Inverness area)? It would appear that there is at least one genuine reporter in the world who did exactly as he promised - for more info regardng this, click on this link to Laura's Blog. She'll be FAR better at explaining what it's all about than I.

But it's a fantastic story and LL has been well quoted. Curiousity piqued now? Then go and read...

Ok, I am off to watch the gorgeous Jason Statham in Lock, Stock & 2 smoking barrels..

Nighty night all.

MWAH! xxx

Friday 13th, Fire Alarms & Fuckwits...

2010-08-14T21:57:00.006+01:00

Fu-fu-fu-fu-fur goodness sakes! I didn't want to get out of my nice and cosy hotel bed on Friday morning - because it was the dreaded Friday the 13th (and as some of you know, I am a tad superstitious etc)..

But arise I did, and I am so glad that I did so. What a wonderfully rewarding day it was - in all manner of ways.

Some of you know that at the end of last year I went through an horrendous time, and my mojo took one hell of a dive. I lost confidence in myself but more than that, I didn't think that I would be able to trust anyone ever again.

But that all changed when a certain Luscious Laura Lee took me under her wing and showed me the way to get my mojo back!!!

The first time I ever met Laura, I was (quite frankly) extremely wary of her. I thought that she would chew me up and spit me out for breakfast - the feisty lass that she is, but as time and tours have passed by I have got to know the 'girl-next-door' that lies beneath that mass of erratic hair and (dare I say it without offending her?) brashness!

But Laura is Laura - a vehement Activist if ever I met one, and one who will take NO crap from anyone - no matter who it is, and there are plenty out there who would like to see her get knocked off the pedestal that many WG's and clients put her on!!

As I said though, she took me under her wing and I started doing tours with her. After my Birmingham fiasco last year, I had decided that touring wasn't for me - but in the end, why should I let the buggers grind me down? Now, with many tours under my belt, I am a far happier, much more confident and definitely financially better off and sexier (YEAH!!!) woman.

Thanks Laura - love you!!! (I know she loves me too, despite the fact that I constantly say things that make her retch....LOL!!!)

So - once again, Inverness was an absolutely fantastic tour on which I actually broke a financial record. YAY! (No, I am not going to tell you by how much - don't be so nosey, lol). I met lots of new guys and also reaquainted myself with some who are now becoming regulars. (I must be doing something right...)!!

It was a funny one though - One guy called me to say that he had just put his wife on the train and as soon as the train leaves, he'll come round to see me!!

Another was a delivery guy whose girlfriend worked in a shop opposite, so he had to sneak in, lol.

Then there was a gorgeous young man who told me that he had booked me through Adultwork because 'I am every young guys fantasy - a MILF'!!! And can you believe it - I ACTUALLY BLUSHED!! Yes, me!!

He promises to come and see me again the next time I am in Inverness .... I'd better make him my last appointment as he has a voracious sexual appetite!! (And he has given me a fantastic FR on AW too...)

THEN there was the one who is known as the IRISH FANTASIST!!

The one who phones up after getting numbers from the Daily Sport, and requests a 3-4 hour booking. He rings or texts back to confirm, then says that he is outside the building. And then.......

Nothing!

Phone is switched off!!

So Irish JOHN - you're a prick, but I have the last laugh. I had been warned about you long ago and was actually rather surprised that you hadn't phoned me on my previous Inverness tours. But I had already taken 3 genuine bookings so I wasn't hanging around for nothing - so if you really thought that I fell for your blarney, well think again!

You Muppet!!!

I went to bed early on Friday night though (well, 11pm was early for me) as I haven't been well for over a week. None of the pills or potions are helping me, and now I have severe pain in my kidneys as well as a high temperature and feel freezing cold and shivering, on and off.

At 01.20 this morning, the bloody fire alarm went off. I nearly pee'd my pants, it frightened me awake. I really didn't want to have to get out of bed and go outside, so I just lay there and waited to see if anyone came knocking - but they didn't, thank goodness! Apparently someone had been having a shower with the bathroom door open and the steam had set off the alarm.

But when Laura came down for breakfast, I asked her if she had been having a crafty smoke in her room (lol) and she told me that she hadn't heard the alarm at all!!!

Right, my next tour is next week in Carlisle again, and I have already received some bookings - so I can't wait.

(See my tours list at the top right of my blog)...

I am off to bed now as I am shattered and freezing cold again.

Big hugs to all and tons of karma to Laura (and Amanda too, as she is a diamond too...)

Night
Susan xxx

Women's Aid - Close to My Heart

2010-08-09T22:19:00.007+01:00

Every so often I decide to have a good clear out of my clothes and household goodies, and I usually either give the things to charity, or sell them on eBay. But this time I have decided to give give them to the local Women's Aid.

They helped me out enormously a few years ago when the guy I had been in a relationship with for 2 years finally tried to kill me. If they hadn't been there to take me in, and give me such fantastic support and encouragement, I wouldn't be here writing this now.

(Yes, I got so low that all my medication was removed from my flat in the refuge and I had to go to the office every day to take it. It was their way of ensuring that I was okay...)

But I don't think that anyone, unless they have actually had to use their services, can realise how dependent they are on the 'charity' (for want of a better word) of others.

Just imagine all these women that are having to flee from their homes, sometimes with their children, with nothing but the clothes on their backs. The kids having to leave their favourite toys and teddies...

So, that's where I am taking my unwanted clothes and may I suggest that if any of my readers are having a good clear out of things - especially kids clothes and toys, that they ring their local Women's Aid to let them know and they'll tell you where to take them.

I guess that you have heard of a group called Savage Garden... well one of their songs will always stick in my mind...Two beds and a coffee machine.

I've added the words below - they feel like they have been written especially for me and the thousands of women who are going through or have been through what I had.

I used to be a victim of domestic abuse - but now I AM A SURVIVOR!!

And She Takes Another Step
Slowly She Opens The Door
Check That He Is Sleeping
Pick Up All The Broken Glass
And Furniture On The Floor
Been Up Half The Night Screaming
Now It's Time To Get Away
Pack Up The Kids In The Car
Another Bruise To Try And Hide
Another Alibi To Write

Another Ditch In The Road
You Keep Moving
Another Stop Sign
You Keep Moving On
And The Years Go By So Fast
Wonder How I Ever Made It Through

And There Are Children To Think Of
Baby's Asleep In The Back Seat
Wonder How They'll Ever Make It
Through This Living Nightmare
But The Mind Is An Amazing Thing
Full Of Candy Dreams And New Toys
And Another Cheap Hotel
Two Beds And A Coffee Machine
But There Are Groceries To Buy
And She Knows She'll Have To Go Home

Another Ditch In The Road
You Keep Moving
Another Stop Sign
You Keep Moving On
And The Years Go By So Fast
Wonder How I Ever Made It Through

Another Bruise To Try And Hide
Another Alibi To Write
Another Lonely Highway In The Black Of Night
There's Hope In The Darkness
I Know You're Gonna Make It

Another Ditch In The Road
Keep Moving
Another Stop Sign
You Keep Moving On
And The Years Go By So Fast
Silent Fortress Built To Last
Wonder How I Ever Made It

Love and Light,
Susan xxx

Do I Accept Visa? Ummm, Let Me Think About That One...

2010-08-07T23:21:00.005+01:00

Newcastle was just as good as it had been over my last 3 visits, but this time there were some rather amusing moments - to say the least!

One of my 'visitors' arrived late in the evening for an hour's appointment. He had decided to bring an overnight bag with him, apparently so that he wouldn't look 'suspicious'! There was nothing unusual about the bag in itself - just the fact that he had brought it along so as not to draw attention to himself.

Anyway, he didn't need much encouragement to 'get his kit off', but he only removed his trousers and boxer shorts. Leaving on his thick sweatshirt, glasses, socks and hat (the hat was of the type that you might see one of those old mariners wearing, or even 'Uncle' from Only Fools and Horses...)

It was incredibly difficult for me to keep a straight face, but when the 'deed' was done I put out my hand (which was holding a wet wipe) to take the little rubber that contained his spent man juice.

But no - he refused to give it to me, insisting that he take it and dispose of it himself when he returned home!! I tried to assure him that I dispose of these things in a discreet and effective way but his reply was...

"No, I don't want to leave any trace of my DNA"!!!!!

My first thought was that he had a knife, gun or rope in his overnight bag and was planning on killing me... Okay, an irrational thought but hey - could I really be so sure?

The fact that his body hairs were all over the bed, his perspiration etc obviously hadn't crossed his mind, but hell - I was a bit worried!!

Then I had another visitor the following evening whose first words (once in the room) were... "Do you take Visa"??

He then accused me of being impolite when I suggested that I turn my back to him, drop my panties and that he swipe the card between the cheeks of my ass...

How the hell can someone turn up and not visit the ATM on the way?

Then again, I still get calls from readers of the Daily Sport months after I have been on tour somewhere .... "I just saw your ad in the Sport, can I have some info please"?

Yes - Check the date on the paper first. If you really can't afford to buy a paper on the day, how the hell do you think you can afford to see me?

But on the whole, Newcastle was great and I'll be back again soon.

Mini-me got her exam results this week and of the 3 subjects she sat (at College) she got 2 'A's and a 'B' - so I am sooooo very proud of her, especially considering that she has been through a lot of bad stuff the past year and had only a 48% attendance. We were both convinced that it would have gone against her, but no.

So well done to Mini-Me!!!

xxx

Back To Newcastle - Panties at the ready!!

2010-08-02T22:22:00.005+01:00

Three tours this month. The first is tomorrow (Tuesday 3rd August)when I shall be going back to Newcastle (the guys there are so friendly....!!!) There's a couple of Geordie Lads down there who insist on my bringing extra panties for them to buy off me.

When I was a kid, I used to wonder why men should want to buy a pair of ladies pants, especially as they were so obviously needing to be laundered... oh, the innocence of youth, hahaha..

But hey, I live to serve and am more than happy to oblige anyone who has just about any kind of request. In this line of work, who the hell am I to judge? (NOT that I would judge anyone anyway, you understand.)

Today I had a 'first'. A chap had wanted to book me for a while and finally arrange to visit me today. He drove down from Fife, and when he was near my incall place he phoned to say that he would like me to be dressed 'office like' with an ankle chain if possible.

As his luck would have it, one of my very regular gents had bought me an ankle chain as a gift (and a bracelet) and I haven't removed it since he put it on my ankle...

But I digress... So this chap shows up - absolutely GORGEOUS I might add (*drools*) and I answer the door to him.

We head upstairs and I show him into my boudoir. He tells me just how nervous he is as he has never done anything like this before, so I told him to sit down on the bed, take a few deep breaths and relax.

No sooner had he sat down than he tells me he has actually lost his nerve and couldn't go through with it. I tried to reassure him that there was absolutely nothing to worry about being nervous, but he insisted that he wanted to leave.

I was beginning to wonder if it was really me that he wasn't too sure about. (How can ANYONE not be too sure about or not comfortable with me.....?)

He wasn't even in the room 5 minutes before he left!!!

Thankfully, that doesn't happen often, and as I said - it was the first time it had happened to moi. Mind you, his hands were shaking like mad when he handed me the money for the inconvenience.

Bless him, I hope I haven't (or the experience hasn't) scarred him for life, lol.

Anyway, Laura and I should be in Newcastle around 3pm-ish and I, for one, am really looking forward to catching up with the chaps from our previous tours.

Kisses
XxX

Sex and Travel - First Class, Naturally...

2010-07-31T22:31:00.003+01:00

Back from my Inverness tour and, unbelievably, #1 son had actually left my house in the condition in which I left it!! That was a huge relief as, whenever I go away and ask him to house-sit for me, I usually walk in the door and find him cowering in the corner, fingers in ears and eyes tight shut as he knows he is about to incur the wrath of big momma!

No chance for me to sit down and have a cuppa before unpacking my 'floosie case' - it would be straight into the kitchen, loading the dishwasher, grabbing the hoover, putting the rubbish out and demanding to know why the dog hadn't been walked.

But this time it was all good on my return, except....

It turns out that he had put the dog out to the back garden at about 11pm - and said dog didn't return until 6 this morning!!!! Son said that he had gone to look for pooch for about an hour - even phoning the police station, but to no avail.

I really need to get his nuts chopped off.

(The dog, silly, not my son, lol!)

Anyway, Inverness was a fairly good tour - not as good as last time, though, and the 'Sport' guys were mainly timewasters. I mean, do I seriously want to be sitting in my apartment, all perfumed and dressed up to the nines in my best vintage stockings, 8-strap suspender belt and sexy black lace negligee at 11.30pm waiting for the guys that booked me to turn up - but DON'T?? (Actually, that should be one that booked me for 10pm and the other at 11.30pm...)

I was feeling incredibly horny and was seriously toying with the idea of pleasuring myself with my 'Magic Wand' - you know, the one that guarantees to make me spurt - but I held off and held off because I was expecting 'visitors' and had I used my toy, my clit would have been hyper-sensitive and I wouldn't have been of any use to man nor beast (get THAT thought RIGHT out of your head, lol.....)

But to the headline of this blog... Sex and Travel - First Class, Naturally...

One of my visitors was a lovely chap who asked me to do a little role play with him as he has a particular fantasy that he likes to do with the girls.

We imagine that we are on a train which is still in the station. I enter the 'carriage' and ask the Gent if the empty seat is taken, to which he replies no.

I sit down opposite him and we enjoy some conversation with my occasionally, seductively, crossing and uncrossing my stockinged legs.

Eventually the conversation turns to how good my legs look in the stockings and it is suddenly noticed by the Gent that I am not wearing any underwear!!

I am then invited to join him in his room that he has already booked in an hotel and this I am happy to do. On the way up to his room, we enjoy a little intimacy in the lift which leads to some rampant passion once on the bed...

I am sharing this with you because it was such a pleasure to be able to participate in some of the more 'unusual' but delightful role-play.

The only downside to this was that, for the first time ever, I hadn't packed my oh-so-tight pencil skirt to make the scene so much more real. Luckily though, I had a long jumper which made for a rather sexy mini-dress, lol.

Then, there was this guy who turned up who could barely speak any English. "You didn't make this appointment, did you?" I asked him. "No," he said in broken English, "My brother did...!" (Funny how his 'brother had a very clear Scottish accent though, and this guy was Turkish!)

He was a nice enough guy though, but that doesn't detract from the fact as to why we girls are very wary of taking some bookings. Yet another reason as to why we should be allowed to work at least 2 girls together - safety!! But of course, the powers that be would rather clean up any mess after the fact than prevent anything from happening in the first place!!!

Well, I shall be back in Inverness on 12th/13th August - but next week shall find me back in Newcastle on 3rd and 4th. I haven't been there for a couple of months due to one thing or another, but be assured that I shall be taking along some of my 'need-to-be-laundered' panties - especially for a certain couple of guys *winks*.

xxx

Docs, Dogs and meeting strange men in parks!!

2010-07-28T21:31:00.010+01:00

Oooh, it has been a while since my last 'confession', but then again, p'raps I am just such a sweet and innocent little angel with nothing to confess at all?

Since I last blogged, I have had to visit the Doc as I have been getting terrible pains in my ankles and feet as soon as they touch the floor on my crawling out of bed. Also, if I have been sitting down for more than about ten minutes, I have to hobble for a while... but it would appear that there's a chance I have Plantar Fasciitis ... go look it up, I can't be bothered to explain (it's easier that way, lol).

Anyway, Doc had said that there's a possible problem with my Achilles Tendon too, and today it has been unbearable to walk on, especially as my mutt decides he wants to take ME for a walk instead of the other way about!

And talking of said 'Mutt' - after rising from my slumber, hobbling downstairs to let him out into the back garden to relieve himself of the night's build up of canine urine, I made myself a cuppa and awaited his usual whines and protests to let me know he actually wanted to go walkies further than the garden.

After about half an hour, I realised that all was silent and, looking out of both the front and rear windows, I figured that the bugger had disappeared!! I couldn't understand it though as the gate was still shut.

So, hastily dressing I limped my way around the areas where I take him for walkies, calling his name (nicely at first, but my tone rapidly changing to more of a growl...) but after an hour I was still carrying a limp lead.

My neighbour told me to get into his car and we circled the area again - several times. Still no joy. Went back to the house hoping to find him wagging his tail and looking at me with his beautiful brown eyes. But nothing - just an empty step.

Off to the Police Station - and lo and behold, he had been handed in by a lovely lady not ten minutes before!! Apparently he'd been found wandering around Bellahouston Park (Yes, the same place that the Kafflick Daddy is going to in September..... grrr, don't get me STARTED on that one again!! Although I have been considering asking the neighbours to agree that we should charge those who wish to park their cars in our road during 'his' visit, then a witty gent suggested that rather than do that - we actually make a promise to the owners of the cars that if they pay us well, we will guarantee that no-one will damage them....lol. Indeed, there IS money to be made out of his visit!)

But I digress, the park is on the other side of an extremely busy road and I am amazed that Mutt wasn't hit by a car, bus, lorry or Black Hackney! Anyway, he's back and still whining and moaning just as much as ever.

Bellahouston Park is a great place to meet other people (especially if you have a canine pet). There is a fenced off area which is just for doggies, (I said doggies, not DOGGING!!) and the other day I got chatting to this guy who gave me his number (as he's a therapist (holistically)in various things including Reiki, massage, sports massage and a personal trainer.

So later on, I dropped him a quick text for more info, and what was the reply?

"I hope you don't think I am being too forward, but I found you a really witty, intelligent and extremely attractive woman. I would really love to date you. And it's £35 per hour no matter which service you are looking for".

I wondered if there was something that he wasn't telling me.......!!

Right, I had better get packing for my Inverness tour tomorrow (29th/30th July).

(Oh, I just noticed that I have another follower - *waves* at Mr. Elrond )

Hugs
Susan xxx

Daily Sport or just Mass-tur-bait-ers...

2010-07-16T00:08:00.003+01:00

Yep, Laura and I are back from our first Carlisle tour, and pretty good it was too.

Apart from the weather, that is - very much home from home on that score. Lovely and sunny when we were in our rooms and chucked it down as soon as we set foot outside of the door!!

I met some lovely guys whilst there, one of which had been trying to get to see me for over a year, but it just goes to show that patience is a virtue, lol. An early morning booking and he most certainly woke me up with a 'bang'... jeez - I could still feel it hours later!!!

Unfortunately, there were so many twats calling up for details and alleged bookings too, but thank fully not from here. Once an advert goes into the Daily Sport there are all manner of guys calling up and most of them just want to get free phone sex.

Get a life you 'sport' guys.

Blokes calling to say that if they brought along a certificate to prove that they were 'clean', could they have bareback sex? FFS!!!

Do they seriously believe that we would accept without question that either a) the certificate was genuine or b) that even if it was, that it was THEIR certificate?

Other guys saying that they want to visit for a half hour booking, and their mate will be up straight afterwards?

Ummmm, no, I don't think so.... fantasists!!

Then their are oh so many other guys who call my number and ask for details, call Laura's number for info then call the first me back to say the Laura could do it cheaper and and would I do a deal?

What the fools obviously don't realise is that when they call, Laura and I were actually in a restaurant, or the bar or even in one another's room at the time, lol!!

But carry on guys, it makes us laugh...

The same thing when guys will make a booking with one of us for, say 7pm, then at about 6.30pm will ring the other one to also make a booking for the same time. One of these days Laura and I will wait in the same room for them to turn up and give them the shock of their life!

Anyway, on the whole, Carlisle was good and we shall be back, so keep an eye on my 'UPCOMING TOURS' page.

A small alteration to my private galleries on Adultwork - a nice price change with 3 options for you now, so go and take a look. The most recent pics are from a couple of weeks ago vintage vamp, so go and make the most of them, lol.

Love loads

Susan xxx

Carlisle & Poor Communication...

2010-07-14T22:53:00.006+01:00

Well it's now the end of the first two day tour to Carlisle and, despite the extrememly poor mobile and internet connections in my hotel room, on the whole it hasn't been too bad. In fact, I shall go so far as to say... "I'll be back!!"

I do wish guys would have the decency to text though if they can't make their appointment. At least that way I won't be sitting in my finest lingerie and having to apologise profusely to others who wish to make a booking at that particular time, saying that 'unfortunately, I have already taken a booking at that time', only to be left with feck all coz no-one at all turned up!!

Understand that we travel to various parts of the UK to (hopefully) make you happy, so stop being so goddamn selfish, lol....

So, day 2 and (when the mobile reception allowed it) my phone was quite active but no-one showed up AT ALL until 7pm! But during the [wasted] afternoon, I had all manner of thoughts and memories wandering through my mind.

Like - the shower in my room is scalding hot. No matter that I turned it down to supposed 'freezing' it still burnt my ass as I swivelled my derriere in the waters' direction. I didn't think I was going to be able to sit down for a while, and was convinced that I was going to have to hobble to Laura's room and ask her to lance any blisters that may have formed on my peachy butt cheeks!!

But no worries - I just smothered my skin in Bio Oil and lay, ass up and naked, on my bed till the redness eased off. (What a pretty sight!!)

But the memory that the hot shower brought back was from a few years ago when a former boyfriend thought he'd use me as a punchbag and I ended up in hospital minus teeth, huge cauliflower ears that were black/purple and my body covered in dried blood when I went for a shower in the morning.

The shower was so hot, I was so sore and tired and all I wanted was to cleanse myself of the previous night but my frustration just spilled over and I slid down te wall of the shower cubicle and collapsed into floods of tears.

An Auxilliary nurse asked me if I was okay, but I just asked her if I could have a bath instead. Imagine my surprise when she tutted and slammed open the door to the bathroom!! And she thought that SHE was having a bad day???

But that is well and truly in the past. I am a far better and stronger person now.

My last visitor was lovely though. The appointment was for 1 1/2 hours but it ended up being 2 as he gave me the most wonderful massage I've had in a while. I really didn't want it to stop, but I hope that now I shall have a good nights' sleep. (Something I haven't had in a while) and I hope that these migraines will stop too.

I'm beginning to ramble now and have not written what I had intended to. It's late, it's hot and airless in the room - even with the windows open, and I am tired.

Early start tomorrow and a long day ahead..

Ciao for now xxx

Let's Zumba...!!!

2010-07-13T00:34:00.002+01:00

OMG!!

I have been trying to find ways of toning up my gorgeous (lol) body and I think I may just have found it!!

There's this new craze that's sweeping the nation called Zumba, which involves belly dancing, salsa, and other forms of dance and exercise.

Jeez, I was almost dead after about 20 minutes, but I am going to keep it up as it's fun although very hard going. It takes a lot to make me perspire but at the end of the hour I was sweating buckets!

If I do manage to stick with it, I don't think it'll be too long before I have a six-pack, lol. Actually, just a toned waist and thinner thighs will make me happy (not that I am fat anyway... just a bit too much skin for my height, lol).

Something else that I hope to change soon too is my smoking! I have set myself a deadline of quitting totally before my birthday at the end of September although I would prefer before then, so after I quit, I shall no longer be offering smoking as a fetish or fantasy for you guys.

Sorry, but you got to take the rough with the smooth!

I am off to Carlisle today (Tuesday 13th) for a couple of days (see my Adultwork profile) and it would be great if there's some sun and warm weather. I am fed up with the rain now - my pagoda has been blown down, metal poles bent and the netting on it ripped due to the high winds the other day.

I am soooooo pissed off about that, especially as I am a natural redhead and can't sit in the direct sun for too long.

But then again, why am I so worried? After all - there is no bloody sun!!!!

I've been getting lots of migraines lately and I think a trip to the Doctors may be in order if I get any more over the next few days. Mind you, I'll maybe be told that it's just my imagination or all in my head (no pun intended folks....)

Time for bed, said Zebedee....

G'night all.

MWAH xxx

I'm going NUTS today!!

2010-07-08T19:04:00.003+01:00

Well, for those who know me, they'll testify that my going nuts is nothing unusual for me!!

But I am 'trying' to update my new website and I cannot for the life of me understand why some of my banner/links are working and others aren't! Thing is, I work with banners and text links every day in my 'normal' life and never have any real problems, but today is a completely different matter.

I blame the whether (oops, bad spell of weather there, lol) myself. Hot, cold, calm, windy, chucking it down - my brain is just a soggy mass!! No wonder the simplest of things are bugging me right now!!

Well, I was supposed to have been in Dundee today and tomorrow, but I was called upon to be 'selected' for something so I had to cancel. Turns out that I could have gone after all, but with only 2 hours before Laura was driving down, it wasn't enough time for me to book a hotel and organise everything else like placing an ad in the Sport...

Never mind though, I shall be in Carlisle next week, so I am looking forward to that.

Talking of the Sport, some guy phoned me today looking to make an appointment with me this afternoon - in NEWCASTLE!!

Okay, so that's not so strange, I hear you say, but it is when the number he called me on is a number I haven't used for the Sport for about 4 months, and I haven't done a tour in Newcastle for about 2.

Now all I can say is, if you can't afford to buy a bloody newspaper, are you sure that you can afford me? (He did admit that he got my number from a paper that was just lying around...!)

A several months old copy of the Sport and he was still able to peel the pages apart? (Sorry, just thinking aloud there.)

Now, peeling things apart reminds me of something else (Laura, don't read this or you'll retch *arf!*)

I have often been asked at what age do I think that I shall give all of this up. truth is, I have no idea. As long as men find me attractive enough to be able to bring a tingle to their todger and I feel happy enough with, and in myself, then I'll keep on.

But then I thought - I am aware that there are Ladies on sites who are in their 70's and still doing this but then the thought of opening a cold cheese toastie comes to mind....

Yeah, you get what I am saying? Lol!!

Let's just see how things go over the next year or so. Ideally I would love to meet a very rich man who'd like to keep me in the style I wish to become accustomed to, but at my age, it's highly unlikely!

And before you all yell 'Gold-digger' at me, you are so very, very wrong. I don't want a man for his money. It IS HIS money. I would like to be with a solvent guy because he knows what hard work and responsibility is, and 'should' also appreciate what he has in life. And THAT would include me.

I would even sign a pre-nup (Oh, Lord, please give me the opportunity to be asked to sign a pre-nup.....!!) Listen, if he would just pay for dinner and a holiday now and again, I'd be happy.

Easily pleased - that's me!!

Grrr, the damned website keeps sneaking to the fore of my mind - I need to see if I can crack whatever secret code it has.

xxx

Upcoming Papal visit..

2010-07-05T20:58:00.002+01:00

I caught the news earlier on this morning and I was shocked to hear that the Pope's 4 day visit to the UK in September this year is going to cost no less than.... wait for it....

£15m!!!

Apparently the Government had originally promised to spend a mere £9m on security and other bits and bobs (because it's classed as a State Visit), but now it has risen to a whopping £12m and the Catholic Church will find the rest for the Papal side of things!!

There is high unemployment here, there are to be 100's of 1'000's of Government/Local Authority job cuts, the 700 new schools we were promised are now not going to be built, VAT is to be 20% etc etc etc - and all to reduce the UK's debt of something like £156 BILLION!! (I think it's more than that)..

But seemingly, the Government can find £12 MILLION to fund a FOUR DAY visit from the Pope???

I am not religious (more spiritual, actually) but I understand how important the Pope's visit is - to the UK's Catholic people - but at such an obscene cost? How the hell can it be justified? It really makes my blood boil!!!

(I think you've probably guessed that by now...)

Now I live VERY close to where the visit shall take place in Glasgow, and if I can't get out of my house to get to the local shops I shall NOT be a happy bunny!!!

READ MORE HERE>>>

But enough of religion (Known to have started many a war....)

I was walking back from Mini-Me's earlier this evening... I had gone there with dog to see how Mini-Me's offspring was as he has chicken-pox (bless)... when all of a sudden I found myself sprawled on the pavement! Dog running off and his doggie mixer box squashed and leaking it's contents onto the pavement. (I'd just bought it..)

"OUCH"!!! My knee was really sore, as were the heels of my hands where I had landed.

Next thing I see is a Police car pull up near me and 2 officers come running towards me. They asked if I was ok and did I need medical attention...but I assured them that I was fine, more embarrassed than anything.

My poor knee is all bruised but thankfully I was wearing jeans and, although they now have a hole in the knee, I wasn't cut.

I am having a V+C now - purely for medicinal purposes you understand - to calm my nerves and for shock...

I have no idea how or why I ended up on the deck and I had NOT been drinking at the time, lol.

Ooops, my glass is empty so I'll be off.

Susan xxx

Nightcallers and Ladies wot lunch

2010-07-05T20:44:00.000+01:00

(This was originally written for my AW profile on Friday 2nd July)

AAAAARGH! What is it about folk who think that we are on 24/7/365 availability?

Okay, I learned my lesson about a year ago and turn off my phone at 10pm, but when I turn it on again the following morning there are always 'missed calls' ranging from midnight through to 5am.

You guys really must learn to control your sexual urges you know. I refuse to put Duracell batteries up my arse to keep me on the go just to satisfy your needs - I prefer to put them in my vibrators to satisfy myself (before I retire for the night) lol...

I have a busy day ahead of me today - luncheon with the ladies (again - but this is important, lol) then regular visitors, followed by another meeting..... so much to do, such little time to do it.

Oh - and I fixed my TV!! YAY!!

Mind you - all that needed replacing was the bulb and I sourced somewhere close by that had it in stock but it was a whopping £90!! No labour costs - that was the price of the bulb.

Everywhere else it was about £187, so I got a bargain. Oh well, just as long as it lasts for a few more years, I'm happy...

Right - off to take the mutt out before he cocks his leg on my computer chair..

MWAH!

Susan xxx

I am a 100% GENUINE MILF!!

2010-07-05T20:41:00.000+01:00

Yup, it's official! I am a 100% genuine MILF!

Well, according to some Gents I have seen recently, lol.

But it's good to know that I AM genuine as there are so many females nowadays who profess to be just that - A MILF!! Well, what I should really be saying is that there are unbelievable amounts of 18 - 25 year olds who have never had a kid but class themselves as a MILF...

Well 'HELLO'!!! Don't you know what MILF stands for?

Let me enlighten you - it stands for Mother I'd Like to Fuck.

Uh-huh! Yes - the very first word actually gives it away..... mother!!

Funny though - I am surprised at the amount of guys who don't know what it stands for either, lol. (Originally first heard in the film American Pie...)

I'll let YOU decide what GILF stands for - but I am one of those as well (I may have mentioned that before, so just ignore me - it's late, I'm tired and am rambling a bit......)

I received a great compliment the other day too - in that I have an amazingly tight pussy!!

Well actually - I knew that already but it's something I can say that I am proud of considering I have had a family. I must admit though that after giving birth to each of them, I was convinced that I would end up with a fanny like a bucket.

I mean, c'mon - can you imagine being stretched down there the width of a pair of shoulders AND a head??

But no - pelvic floor exercises certainly paid off, so ladies, get squeezing. (Especially when you have a man's magic wand in there - they LOVE it when you squeeze..... don't you guys!!)

So anyway - what news?

I have uploaded loads more pics to my private gallery, and there's more to come.

I am wearing a Vollers corset (Thank you Amanda.... x) laced up TIGHTLY at the back, genuine vintage stockings with cuban heel, seams and even the keyhole in the welt - cost a fortune but sooooo sexy! (Snag them guys and you WILL by me a replacement pair, lol) and a sexy black lace negligee.

Vintage Vamp, that's me. YUMMY!!!

Ciao for now

Susan xxx

Traffic Jams and Roadworks

2010-07-05T20:39:00.000+01:00

It seems to be that all roads lead to - traffic jams and road works these days.

Laura loves driving but hates it when she can spy the big yellow motorway trucks and JCB's in the distance, but sadly it's part of the highway code, innit!!

The obligatory queues - one of which we must have been stuck in for about 20 minutes on what was supposed to have been a 'country road'!!

Then, when you arrive at the point where the work is being carried out - it's the length of about 3 cars but the preceding caterpillar of cones was about 2 miles long!!

But then again, I heard ages ago that a payment is made for each cone that's used, so..... (probanly not true - but who the hell knows how the Highways and Byways people work?)

So, tonight I had a booking for 7pm and another at 8pm.

7pm text to say he was stuck at the proverbial road works and had only moved about a mile in 40 mins, so will be a bit late. (Travelling down from Edinburgh).

So called my 8pm back as he had already called to ask if he could come earlier (oh yes.... see how eager they are to visit me, lol.) Yep - he could make it over for 7.15 - so all was well and good.

JUST had time for an extremely quick shower (or in Laura's words, a quick handstand in the shower, lol - I love her phrases!!) as 7pm called to say that he was just around the corner.

Busy, busy, busy - but NO WAY am I complaining!!

Two very lovely, decent and clean chappies and hopefully I shall get to see them again!!

D'ya know - I have just realised the time and I haven't had a bite to eat today!! I had so much work to do (my normal job) and needed to clean and tidy the house as it hasn't had a good scrub for a couple of weeks.

Take dog for (several) walks - he has very smelly wind tonight (ewww), meet up with mini-me and offspring.....

Tidy house AGAIN after their visit (sigh)

Is it any wonder I feel so knackered tired?

I'd best get off as my hands are now shaking from lack of food!!!

Ciao for now, luvvie dahlinks...

Mwah!

Susan xxx

Inverness, Seagulls and Eels

2010-07-05T20:37:00.000+01:00

Well, what can I say other than Inverness is full of horny guys and I had a BALL (or several, if truth be told, lol)...

I made my acquaintance with several lovely guys (and naturally there were a lot of timewasters) but on the whole - Inverness is great!! The town centre itself is really pretty too.

I don't know if there's something in the water up there, but OMG!!!! The men are exceptionally well-hung, so I was definitely like a pig in shit honey bee in a field of clover - just oozing nectar (if you get my drift, lol).

One evening, as we were sat outside the hotel having a breath of fresh air, there were a couple of seagulls that swooped down into the car park. They seemed to be having a fight (as seagulls often do) and as we looked over to see what it was all about we saw that one of them had this huge, LIVE eel in its beak which the other bird wanted a piece of!!

The winner of the prized eel hopped off behind a parked car, and my curiosity got the better of me and I walked around to take a look, and there was the gull - beak now empty but with a wriggling mass in its now stretched up neck!!

Ewww, disgusting but an amazing sight to see, nonetheless!

Anyway, I am so looking forward to my next tour at the end of July and I hope to see the guys (and you) again xxx

I Pee'd myself

2010-07-05T20:34:00.000+01:00

Ooopsie!!!

A friend of mine called round tonight and asked if I fancied taking a drive with my dog to the coast.

Well, my dog isn't used to travelling in cars and I was a little dubious but thought, in the end, that it would be a nice treat for him. So off we went.

About 10 minutes into the journey, sure enough the dog started to get incredibly restless and kept trying to jump about in the car. He insisted on trying to climb jump up onto my lap (I was in the front, of course) and was only wearing a thin cotton dress.

The dogs claws were raking into my flesh and tearing lumps out of me as I was trying to push him back down into the footwell.

Eventually, he jumped over onto the back seat where he almost broke my fingers that were holding onto his collar as he kept turning round on the seat.

I couldn't help but yell at the poor mutt, but believe me - my legs, arms and chest are now covered in nasty scratch marks and I am not happy!!

Anyway, we finally got to Prestwick and the dog bounded out of the car - all happy, tail wagging and wanting to play.

We walked for about a mile over the sand, dog happy as larry with all the new smells and sensations beneath his paws until we decided it was time to head back to the car.

Now, anyone who knows me will be able to vouch for the fact that I have a bladder the size of a peanut, and I decided that a call into the midst of the sand dunes was called for.

My friend kept a look out, the dog didn't know I had even disappeared and I quickly pulled down my panties and relieved myself. Oh, it was heeaven until....

A sudden gust of wind came from behind (no pun intended) and swept the back of my dress to between my legs as I was STILL peeing!!

OH JOY!!

NOT!!!

I didn't realise until I stood up after shaking my tush that I had urinated over most of the dress at the back! The wind picked up again and blew the said soaking wet patch against my bare legs (the dress was a maxi one) and I yelled at the cold contact!!

Lol - I had to walk along holding my dress out in the hope that the wind would, at least, dry it off - even just a little!!

Thank goodness that I had put a towel in the car in case the dog got wet - I had more use for it than HE did *sigh*

So, for future reference - should anyone request it - watersports may not be a good thing to ask me for as I can't hold it in, lol.

SPURTING on the other hand is a very different matter - then I ALWAYS get a towel ready...

MWAH to all

Sopping wet Susan xxx

Do you come here often.....?

2010-07-05T00:03:00.000+01:00

Actually, no - this is my first time ever!!

Well, I have finally got around to blogging after being 'nagged' at by Laura!

I could say that Laura likes to nag, but that isn't strictly true - she cares, and cares very much about us WG's, so I really cannot and will not complain about that.

So, about me....

I have been an escort on and off for a few years now, but it's only since about 18 months ago that I realised that when I was 'doing it' before, all my reasons were the wrong ones. I was suffering very badly with depression and was single, feeling very low and lonely and in general just sorry for myself.

I wanted to love and be loved and I thought that by 'selling' myself would curb my cravings and (who knew) that someone might have swept me off my feet and gave me the life that I wanted to become accustomed to...

But it didn't happen...... no surprises there then!!

I started working in a parlour that was newly set up in Ayrshire. It was a dirty, run-down place that hadn't really been adapted for the business since the previous owners had left. It had been a 'suite of offices' in an industrial estate which itself was already pretty run down.

A TV had been set up in the reception area where porn movies could be played for anyone who was waiting to be seen in one of the private rooms, and the movies were piped through to the said rooms.

There was a grotty settee and a desk in the reception and behind this there were showers. No matter how many times a day I would try and clean up those showers, I couldn't get rid of the mould and mildew or the rank smell that emanated from it. The towels had definitely seen better days, but certainly no washing machine or tumble dryer for several weeks. (Probably months, if I am to be honest!!)

Anyway, business wasn't too bad and there were only 3 of us working there. From time to time the guy would come in to collect the 'door fee' but never showed any concern for any of us.

After about 2 months I answered the buzzer to an 'expected' client, and as I buzzed him in, I suddenly realised that rushing past the video monitor were loads of uniforms!!

Yup, we were raided and it transpired that it was from a tip off to the local paper from a pissed off wife who had discovered what her hubby had been spending his pocket money on!!

Luckily, I was the only person in the place at the time and the cops wanted to charge me with running a brothel. I was terrified to say the least as I had never been in trouble with the law before.

Well, a year and a day went by and nothing happened. I had tried on numerous occasions to contact the guy whose place it was but I never heard a peep out of him - not even to say thank you for keeping my mouth shut. So, when I was allowed to go and collect everything from the police office, I just kept all the money that had been seized as well as other bits and pieces.

I hope the guy rots in hell for his lack of support...

But that was then, and I learned so much from my experience!!

Some time after that I contacted an agency near Edinburgh and the woman that ran it was fantastic and got me loads of work. But I was still doing it for the wrong reason.

I gave up after about a year to try to get my life back on track with various 'normal' 9-5 jobs, but I still wasn't happy.

Then I joined a Glasgow agency. Ann was okay at first and I got loads of bookings, but one evening I had something planned but I kept calling her during the day to ask if she needed me that evening.

"No," she kept telling me. "You enjoy your night off. You've been working really hard and doing so well that you deserve it"!

So, off I went, but 15 minutes after I arrived for my planned evening, she called to say that a 'regular' wanted to book me. I reminded her that all day long she had told me I was to enjoy my night off and then she SCREAMED down the phone at me... "You work for ME!!!!!!"

"Not any more I don't" I told her, and have not spoken to her since.

Now the great thing about that was that several of my regulars from the agency stayed with me. One of them I still see on a regular basis and that's been about 6 years now.... I guess I must be doing something right, lol.

Still I wasn't doing it for the right reasons so I took another break and this time I REALLY took stock of myself.

So, since September 2008 I am back, as an Independent and in total control of my life, my thoughts, feelings and emotions and the reason as to why I am doing what I do! Now, I LOVE this side of my life and I have met some absolutely fantastic people through it. Folk that I would never have had the pleasure of meeting had I been working in a dull 9-5 job.

So there you have it - a tiny insight into the life of Susan Glasgow.

And in my blogs, I shall let you have wee snippets now and again of what I do, what I like/dislike, some rants and some raves, happy bits and maybe (although hopefully not too many) sad bits.

Like you, the reader, I am really just a normal human being. I am a tart with a heart. A great listener, a good talker, passionate, compassionate, funny, confident and able to keep a confidence too.

And remember - Every woman is a whore, I just turned it into a business xxx